Life — October 24, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Life’s Nursery Tales. HENNY JENNY. ONCE upon a time there was a“ hen- minded"’ reformer looking for corruption in a great.city. Suddenly a case appeared before her very eyes, and she thought the city was falling and she'd go and rouse the masses, Soshe gaed and she gaed until she met a Doctor of Divinity. And the Doctor of Divinity said: ‘‘ Where are you going, Henny-Jenny?” And Henny- Jenny said: “Oh, Cocky-Docky, the city’s falling, and I’m going to rouse the masses.” And Cocky-Docky said: “TI will go with you, Henny-Jenny.” So Henny-Jenny and Cocky-Docky they gaed and they gaed until they : LAE * and we're going to rouse the masses." And Chrony-Kicky said : ‘I will go with you, Henny-Jenny, Cocky-Docky and City-Witt SoChrony-Kicky, City- Witty, Cocky- Docky and Henny-Jenny they gaed and they gaed until they met a Candidate. And the Candidate said : ‘‘ Where are yougoing, Henny-Jenny,Cocky-Docky, City- Witty and Chrony-Kicky?’’ And Chrony-Kicky, City- Witty, Cocky- Docky and Henny-Jenny said: ‘Oh, Handy-Candy, the city's falling, and we're going to rouse the masses." So Handy-Candy said : ‘I will go with you, Henny-Jenny, Cocky-Docky, City- Witty and Chrony-Kicky.” So Handy-Candy, Chrony-Kicky, And Mr. Boss said: ‘1 will show you the way to the masses."" met a Cit, And the Cit said: ‘‘ Where are you going, Henny-Jenny and Cocky-Docky?’? And Henny-Jenny and Cocky-Docky said: ‘Oh, City- Witty, the city’s falling, and we're going to rouse the masses.” So City- ‘Witty said: “I will go with you, Henny-Jenny and Cocky-Docky.”" So City - Witty, Cocky - Docky and Henny-Jenny they gaed and they gaed until they met a Chronic Kicker. And the Chronic Kicker said : ‘* Where are you going, Henny-Jenny, Cocky-Docky and City-Witty?" And City-Witty, Cocky-Docky and Henny-Jenny said: “Ob, Chrony-Kicky, the city’s falling, City-Witty, Cocky-Docky and Henny- Jenny they gaed and they gaed until they met a Boss. And the Boss said : “Where are you going, Henny-Jenny, Cocky -Docky, City - Witty, Chrony- Kicky and Handy -Candy?” And Handy - Candy, Chrony - Kicky, City- Witty, Cocky-Docky and Henny-Jenny said: “Oh, Mr. Boss, the city’s falling, and we're going to rouse the masses.’’ And Mr. Boss said : ‘I will show you the way to the masses,”” So he led Henny -Jenny, Cocky- Docky, City-Witty, Chrony-Kicky and Handy-Candy to his machine, and there he threw down first poor Handy- 327 Candy, and then poor Chrony-Kicky, and then poor City-Witty, and then poor Cocky - Docky, and then poor Henny-Jenny. So they never got to the masses to tell them that the city was falling. Katherine L. Mead. A Suggestion. T* times, now antiquated When simple folk awaited With appetite unsated, some feast of fancy new, They read without restriction Each masterpiece of fiction And little cared for diction if the heroine was true. In days when books were fewer, Before the paid reviewer Impaled as with a skewer an author on his pen, They'd greedily devour ‘The novel of the hour, No “signed opinion” sour upset their judgment then. The wine that brimmed the beaker Refreshed the thirsty seeker, But wine to-day is weaker to suit the modern taste. For critics only flatter The goblet or the platter, The viands are no matter if the plate or bowl be chased. They cleared with hungry ardor The literary larder, And welcomed fare of bard or romancer with a smile, Old tales of battle gory, Of sentiment or glory, They read but for the story,—we criticise the style. Ye writers of the present Who fain would win a pleasant (Albeit evanescent) and profitable fame, With fiction would you wile us And cleverly beguile us? ‘Then write it with a stylus and we'll greet it with acclaim. Jennie Betts Hartewick. Prostrated. yuRst FLY: Come quick, mother } Sister has been drinking some of that poison they tried to fool us with. Seconp FLy: Oh! Where is she? “*She’s on the ceiling in a dead faint.” comicbooks.com