Life — September 26, 1901 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

+ LIFE- Kiieo eur nor DEAD TRE Goon oF THe | usu TRES 8, ! Stason ANS | FIRST EOLtION Le Re hee 000 000,778 The Publisher ; YOU 8AY THIS 18 YOUR FIST NOVEL. WELL, THis is A FIND! A CHINESE ROMANCE. SOLD BEFORE PUBLICATION, AND GET OUT LITHOGRAPHS OF THE YOUNG LADY. only he t’inks ten o'clock is too late. He wants ter make nino o'clock de limit. ‘Does de two Reverents git toged- der an’ compromise on nine-thoity? Nit! Each of ’em gits up a party of his own, an’ so does ev'ry udder duck wot’s got a pet reform t’eory rattlin’ around in his nut. When election time comes round, dey puts six or seven tickets in de field, an’ cach ticket gits six or seven votes. “ An’ wot are we doin’ all dis time? Scrappin’ about who's de best man ter uphold de dignity of de Mayor's office? Not on yer life! We're jest layin’ low, waitin’ fer de ol’ man ter come back an’ tell us who ter vote fer. Wot he says goes, an’ his man gits de votes. “‘Dat's de difference between poli- tics an’ reform.” = Jurae Anderson. “FONT you know it is unlucky to postpone the wedding day?” “But not if you keep on doing it.”” The Power of the Press. A Srnio-Comepy, (The scene ts laid in Printing House Square at three a, m,, after the morning editions hare gone fo press. The sage is filled with editors, sub editors, reporters, ete..ete., all being journalists tn some capacity, except, of couree, the members of the Press Clud, who sit on one side, Ald join hands, circle around, and sing.) Behold in us the Octopus of mental stimu- lation, A world of sin we dabble in for mankind's delectation, And we tell in full, while you hold your breath, Of battle, and murder, and sudden death. The truth we grip (or skip) with typograph- ical fecundity, And spread the sad, and mad, and glad, with equalized profundity. And for us, since the matrix had its birth, There's naught that's sacred in heaven and earth! (The centre of the stage ts now cleared, as the sound of distant trumpets ts heard, and it becomes known that a great representative of the press ix approaching. He is preceded by a corps of dane. NEVER BEEN ABROAD, HE (To clerk) 4aMES, ORDER FIFTY THOUSAND COPIES PRINTED AT ONCE, ADVERTISE wii JUST MADE IT UP AS YOU WENT ALONG. LE EDITION OF TWO HUNDRED THOU*AND. ing dercishes, then @ brigade of messenyer loys bearing champagne bottles and absinthe frappés, and finally the great James Gordon Bennett looms Into full view. He i mounted on a Herald tee wagon, and raises his role in ong.) Soro, James Gorvon Bennett. You sce in me A prodigy Of intellectual valor! I lie between The red and green, And I'm somewhat on the ‘‘yaller.” (Al this point he ts led off by the Ker. G. Hip worth, his faithful side partner, and rubbed down, after which he returns and resumes.) James Gordon Bennett I, of international renown And of able journalistic perspicuity, Which is this and nothing more : To print cablegrams galore And surround them with an vacuity ! absolute In Paris I make my abode, because I find it pays, In disbursing so much printed imbecility, Ata distance for to be— I can cable them, you see, Which is better than a localized agility. comicbooks.com