Life, 1901-09-26 · page 13 of 20
Life — September 26, 1901 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine combines two satirical sections mocking American culture circa early 1900s. The **top section** presents absurdist math word problems ridiculing contemporary obsessions: missionary conversion efforts in China (shown to be inefficient), Fifth Avenue stage transportation delays, and pseudoscientific theories about actresses' brains shrinking with physical exertion. The humor lies in applying absurd logic to serious topics—suggesting that converting Chinese people was as mechanically calculable as calculating stage delays. The **illustrations** depict people at a dock or riverside, apparently engaged in recreational activities (swimming, boating), rendered in period-appropriate satirical style. The **bottom section** lists theater reviews for popular New York venues (Garden, Empire, Knickerbocker, Lyceum, Weber and Fields), with brief, dismissive commentary typical of *Life*'s irreverent theater criticism. Overall, this page satirizes American quantification mania, ineffective missionary work, and urban theater culture.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
-LIFE- 253 5 ft. 2 in., whose brain loses 4-16ths of an oz. in a season of 8 weeks, and how soon would she become a star? A Fifth Avenue stage and a man who has fits start from the corner of 23d Street on a race to the Park. The average rate of speed of the stage is 1 mile an hour. But every time a passenger gets in or out there is a delay of 32 minutes. The man can walk 12-15ths faster than the stage, but every time he has a fit he is delayed 1-2 as long as it takes a \ passenger to get out. Who wins ? 2 missionaries, working 2 hours a day, can convert 2 Chinamen in 20 years, at an expense of $40,000. But 3 mis- sionaries, working 3 hours a day at an expense of $60,000, can convert only 2 Chinamen in 20 years. How many mis- sionaries, working 6 hours a day, can convert 1,000,000 Chinamen in 100 years, and what is the expense? Garden.—E, Ul, Sothern in “Richard Lovelace.” Sombre, but in- teresting. Empire.—Jobn Drew ta “The Second in Command.” Clean, amusing and well acted. Knickertocker—The Rogers Brothers in Washington.” Vaudeville play of the usual Rogers type. Lyceum.—‘ The Forest Lovers.” See page 252. Waltach’s.—James K, Hackett in “Don Czsar's Return.” Romantic drama well presented. Worth seeing. Weber and Fields's Music Hall.—Moderately good vaudeville at robber prices. Modern Examples. A® the Muscular Activity of an Actress increases, the average weight of her brain decreases in the ratio of 2 ozs. to a Kicking Power of 6 ft. 2 in. for a height of 5 ft. 8in. What would be the Muscular Activity of an Actress comicbooks.com