Life — August 22, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tax membersof the Athenweum Cinb tn London represent the higher spheres of literature, art, and diplomacy, and particularly the Established Church, inasmuch as nearly all the beuch of bishops may be found upon tts list. The Cnited Service Club, on the other hand, Is made up of oflcers of the army and navy. One day last summer, while the Athenaeum was closed for repairs and Its members were temporarily enjoying the hospitality of the other club, there came down toto the bail a retired adminal, » man of portly bulld and violent temper. “Where's my umbrella? be demanded of the ball porter. Search was made, and the umbrella was not forthcoming. The admiral begun to fame, A dozen funkies Immediately swarmed into the hall, * My umbrella!” erted the admiral ; a silver knob—where Is it, sir?" The bustle continued for # of the attendants timorously tn! could not be found. “What, sir—what, sir? not, sir “1 am afraid, sir,” repited the ball porter, “that some gentleman has taken It by mistake.” “Twken it! Taken It!" roared the admiral, now fairly Apoplectic with rage; “you mean stolen It—yes, sir, stolen {tt might have known what would happen when we let in all those d—d bishops !"—.Argonaut, an umbrella with ew moments, and th rmed the admiral that it none Not to be found, sir? Why BRooKLYN Worgtnoman’s WIFK (in 1901) pened, Danny? H&K NESBAND (desperately): Well, I've been tired by J, P. Morgan, and there's nobody else in the world to work for Brooklyn Citizen. What's hap- Tints Alphabetical Advertisement appeared in the London Times i 1842 To widowers and single gentlemen.—Wanted by a lady, Aaituation to superintend the household aud preside at table. She Is Agreeable, Becoming, Careful, Desirable, English, Facetious, Generous, Honest, Industrious, Jadictous, Keen, Lively, Merry, Natty, Obedient, Philosophie qulet, Regular, Sociable, Tasteful, Useful, Vivactous, Womantsh, Xantippish, Youthfal, Zealous, Address X. Y. Z., Sim- monds’ Library, Edgwareroad.— The Schoolmaster. Tr ta gaid that when President Potk visited Boston he was linpresslvely received at Faneutl Hall Market, The clerk walked in front of him down the length of the market, announcing in loud tones: “Make way, gentlemen, for the President of the United States! The President of the United States | Fellow-citizeus, make room ["° The Chief had stepped into one of the stalls to look at some game, when Mr. Rhodes turned round suddenly, and, finding himself alone, suddenly changed bis tone, and ex- claimed > “My gracious, where has that darned Idiot got to?” — Argonaut. Once upon a Time a Constitution followed a Flag for # Considerable Distance, and a Hamble Citizen gave ita great deal of attention He would neither be Convinced that the Constitution followed the Flag nor that the Flag took the Pace from the Constitution, Sometimes he thought one was, then Again he Thought the Other, and still Again he did not know what he Thought. After awhtle the Tax Assessor came Around and Ex- plained to the Humbie Citizen that tn Cases lke This 1t was Necessary to Pay for the Track whereon these Tr took Place. Moral—The Humble Citizen can rest Assure Marked for the Gate Money right Along. —Baltimor: Dat he ty Tue following advertisement appeared in & recent tsce of a Chicago paper : Wanted — A girl for general housework ; union; any old kind; family of three adults children with nurse, and occupy small house at Sberidag Park, two Mocks from N, W, Elevated ; nice room, with southwest breeze for girl ; no wash: of anything else to do ; our girl quit yesterday lccause we {nvited some relatives to help us celebrate the F Fourth, if the girl demands It, we will disown 0 aud renounce our country ; wages, five dollars. large, airy Me was very young. To be precise, he was dive yeary And seven months, Aslong as he could remember be bad had to set aside a part of the moneys he received t the little childreu of China, He didn’tlove them as mach as he should, or he would not have asked : + Mother, they're killing all the Chinese children, arest the €a, fan't it dreadful? Are you not giad you are a0t s little Chinese boy?" “Yes. But when they get them all killed, I won't base to send them any more of my money, willl?” Evening Son A REALLY forgivable pun ts one published hy the Pils deiphia Ledger when it ascribes the suicide of the diatoticy governor of Shanst by swallowing gold leaf to “a consctoss ness of toward gilt.”"—Exchange. For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter- 's Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, England, AGENTS. national London, EUROPEAN AG T3—Messrs. Brectano, 31 Avenue de l'Ope: Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md 5 SHAKSPEARE SAID GOOD WINE IS A COOD FAMILIAR i. CREATURE: LET US MAKE YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE LABEL OF THE BEST GOOD WINE RUINART CHAMPAGNE RODSEVELY & SCHUYLER Sele gmt tr fe Unie Sees 6Canda, by time. word. A Well-Built Handsomely Finished Size, 16 feet by 32 inches. FOR $27 eco Fixed as the Rocks is the standard of quality and general excellence of Hunter Baltimore Rye Pure from the beginning and aged Uniformity is its watch- Wot, Lananay & Sow, Baltimore, Md. i Paddling # % Canoe SEND FOR CANOE CATALOCUE No. 5 LAUNCHES OF ALL KINDS AND SIZES—CATALOGUE No. A. CATALOGUE No. 6, ST. LAWRENCE RIVER SKIFFS— YACHTS’ HOLLOW SPARS—BOOKLET No. ¢ HIGH-GRADE WORK ONLY THE SPALDING ST. LAWRENCE BOAT CO. J. G. FRASER, Manager. OGDENSBURG, St. Lawrence Co., N. Y. comicbooks.com