Life — June 27, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PHONETIC POEM OF THE NEW YORK CENTRAL. beneath the butter-plate I received almost asa caress. How bitterly was I deceived! In all too shorta ume I learned that the languishing glances cast on me, and all the apparent From Gré X. Y. 2 Batialo favors of those who came to ‘No, 17° every noon, were bat U point the way that all should go decelving wiles to ensnare me Into giving three slices of 20 the fatr that takes the ban bread Instead of two with @ ten-cent order, or two portions B+ the close of of syrup instead of one with the buckwheats ! “Thus, {with the knowledge that the beings whom [ served had thoughts no more ethereal than the sinkers they devoured, dled my poetry within me. As I ceased to feel any fervor for those around me, so 1 began to lose interest In myself. My volce, which was dulcet when first I called, Draw one—without!’ has now been hardened to sordid harmony with the clattering knives and falling plates, and In day coach or parlor car, with the utmost Indifference I enunctate, ‘}rown the bash— othing's like U near or far seventeen,’ ‘Corn-heef-an’ — New Yorks,’ and the other U’R slowest train a cannon ball, phrases in my melancholy vocabulary. No more do I view ‘You speed abead of rivals all. with tense Interest the ple cutter in bope that hia wedge- ‘A da-Z—that ls what UR, shaped die will slip and a fraction more of cocoanut or oY OAR cornstarch than the regulation allows be hestowed on a new —F.A.D.in New York Tribune. customer with a blonde mustache, No more do I tip {nto bis dish an extra spoonful of apple-taploca, oor smile vaguely “Tg romance dead?” sighed the tal! Beef-And Girl,as abe when he asks me if T know any one who'd like to take # little wiped from the marble-topped table the bits of sinkers and blow down to Coney some warm evening. Too often have I combination coffee which a two-hundred-and-Sfty-pound been deceived. traveling salesman had left. “1 fear me that such ts indeed “Naaght 1s left for me but pessimism and ennut. Lob- the case. When first I came to this place and found myself —_sters and champagne? Bah! Food [ see too much of and surrounded on every side by the kiudiing masculine eye, toooften, Diamonds and siik petticoats? What good are how thrilled I was in every fibre! Every putty-faced ribbon clothes tome? I must wear my black and white and leather clerk regarded as a potential admirer, every nickel I found belt and number ‘seventeen,’ and that ts all. Romance? Up the Hudson, ‘cross the Sts, ThrU towns & cites small & grs, Past ntaing high & valleys deep, Where brave men £0. heroes sleep, Fach foot of way a Nature ShO From Grs New York Ah—tis dead! And as for life, I say, as does the egg when he bas bolled ‘two medium’; * Take ttaway {7 itaway !? "—New York Evening Sun. JoserH REND was telling @ little coterte of men a Great Southern Hotel a fanny story recently narrated toy by Governor McCorkle, of West Virginta, A colored 24 ‘was telling a while friend aboot another negro who om, bim two dollars and absolutely refused to pay the det. 7 creditor dunned “nd dunned him, bat all to no Finally the creditor went to bis white frlend, whois sary and poured bis tale of woe into his ear. Weil,” sald the lawyer, “If he positively refused top you, what reason did he give?" “ Well, boss," said the colored man, ‘he said be» owed me dat money fo' so long dat de Interest had dea all up, and he didn't owe mea cent."\— Columbus Dispates Tum youngest daughter of Mra. Walter Damrosch about fnishing her prayers the other night when she abrey! asked her mother to * please leave the room,” as there something for which she wished to give extra und spec thanks, Her mother wanted to know what It was, bet child Jet it be understood that It was of too personal a: private a nature for even a mother to know abost, {i mother accordingly withdrew ; but the next night, w: same request was made. she insisted upon knowing jy what it meant. “Well,” sald the little girl, after much persuast Just wanted to give fanks for bein* "lowed to steal some: the other day !"—Argonaut. For sale by all Newsdealerain Great Britain. ‘The Inter- national News Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, London, B.C ECROPFAN AGENTS—Messrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Paria. Established 1823. Rich and WILSON " Soft as Cream Hunter WHISKEY. | Whiskey It is pure from the beginning and That’s All! in 10 years becomes the finest THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., type of whiskey made. Raltimore, Md Wat, LaNamlaNn & Sox, Baltimore, Md. Ghe GIBSON PLAY . ATTRACTIVELY BOUND IN BOARD “Ne oa TRATED BY MR. GIBSON: : : : : A TWO-ACT COMEDY BASED ON MR. CHARLES DANA GIBSON'S SERIES OF CARTOONS. **A WIDOW AND HER FRIENDS.” BY Marguerite Merrington AUTHOR OF “CAPTAIN LETTARBLAIR,” ETC. NOTICE.—This little play was written for performance by SENT BY MAIL TO ANY ADDRESS ON RECEIPT OF FIFTY CENTS Pe g io produce © Diny for charitable or otber purpores must heat secure written per. LIFE PUBLISHING COMPAN mission from the pubilshers. No charge for royalty will be made asarule, but no performances must be given without permission in writing. 19 West Thirty-first Street, New York Cl Copyright, 1900, by Lire Pubtianing Co. Comicbooks.com