Life — May 30, 1901 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE TROLLEY HELPS WIM A MIT. “REALLY NOW, BUT I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT I CAME Ton.” a Os Made in Germany. war GRETCHEN keeps a toy shop Of woolly lambs and things, That roll about or wildly pop Forth on their agile springs. And when she chooses to display Her well-made store to me, She says in quite a haughty way, “Yah! made in Germ She thinks that I might like a doll, Have ['a little girl? “See dot sweet leetle pet ; look, all Her hair vas real” —A curl Has strayed forth from sweet Gretchen's cap, The one real curl to me. What are the other curls that hap To come from Germany ? A wooden horse, all painted brown, Just like Von Waldersee's, Quite meckly in this China town Supports some dolls Chinese. I'd quickly buy this charger fine, If Gretchen would but be A fellow-traveler of mi And flee to Germany Ah! rosy Gretchen, can't you see Tis not your wares I seck ? What though they be from Ger- many, They cannot love or speak. ‘Tis your-sweet self, for love has laid His fairy wand on me; Twant the maiden who was made In wise old Germany. Annulet Andree. Unmitigated Tragedy. TTEND to one of the sad- dest stories ever told. The shell-fish that ‘grow in the waters of the Pacific on the California coast are a poor lot, and repeated attempts have been made to improve their quality. Oysters from the East have been planted in San Fran- cisco Bay, but they don’t thrive. Lobsters also have been carried there. The first lot of young lobsters that went out quar- reled so violently in their tanks. that they arrived in a deplorable state of dismemberment. Many were dead, and the bottoms of the tanks were strewn deep with claws. “We can better that,’ said 461 the Fish Commissioners ; so when they shipped another lot (at a cost of ten thousand dollars) they put wooden wedges in the big claws of all the young lobsters, so that they could not fight. They ar- rived in good order, were put into the bay, and not one of them was ever seen alive again. After awhile it was remembered that the wedges had not been taken out of the lobsters’ claws before they were turned loose. Consequently they could not shut their claws; consequently they could not get their living; consequently they starved. Does any one know a sadder story than that ? Harold and His Papa. «CPDAPA, cau I stay home from + church to-day?” “No, you cannot.” ou going ?”* “No, sir.” “But if you are not going your- self, why do you make me go?” “ Because Iam aman and you are a boy.” “Do you like to go to church?” ‘Sometimes, when the service is short and the sermon is good.’” But the sermon is never good —I've heard you say that.” “Well?” “Well, papa, honest Injun, wouldn’t you rather play golf?” “Yes, my boy, I would.” “So would I, and yet you are a manand Iam aboy. That'sfunny, isn’t it?” "Yes, Harold.” “Well, now, papa, we're both of us alike about that, and yet you say I mast go tochurch because I'm a boy and you needn't go because you area man. Why is tha “That's an easy one. A man knows more than a boy.” “But did you learn all you know by going to church?” “N-no, not exactly.” “Then, when I get as big as you, I will know just as much, even if I don’t goto church at all.”” “But you are going just the same,” “Why, papa?’’ “ Because, my son, your mother wants you to.” that's pretty funny,