Life — April 4, 1901 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oN al key and herring add strength to the breath and imagination of the literary giants of Old Gaul. Carlyle owed his jocund humor and explosive persiflage to oatmeal; Hogg drew his divine affla- tus from herring and haggis ;and the popn- larity of the merry Hootmon dialect is based on kale and the glossaries. It is idle to say that the Lowland literary school is waning, for so long as the gentle spirit of the pirate, the poacher, and the pedlar animates humanity so long will men turn in anguish to Scotch literature to probe its mystery and make bets on its meaning. Browning ac- quired his mysticism while sojourning with a maiden aunt in Killiecrankie. The great Bacon cryptogram lacked a Scotch habitat to make it popular; and Shakespeare can never be solved until some genius evolves a herring and oat- meal ¢ . Bacon 18 too. The humor of Scotland is its most enduring triumph. To the mere outlander Scotch humor appears to need sarsapa- rilla; but the man to the manor born knows that it needs long years of education and training to understand ; but once its subtlety is grasped a flood of light breaks upon the brain and the world takes on a new aspect. Scotch humor is. serious, thoughtful, philosophic and not athing to be laughed at; it is not for all to grasp its elusive elusivene the scratch of the Scotch head or leg and the rich coloring of the nose reveal its subtle essence to the initiated ; and sometimes a can opener is found useful. The world shudders at the shadow of the Yellow Peril. iF War Pee: Why should it? The philoso- pher ‘who has watched the ravages of golf knows whence the next conqueror is coming. mer; and its ethical results are ob- his intellectual superiority. Oatmeal In that day Caledonia, stern and servable in the genial bonhomie and creates grey matter and scratches; Wild, will be the real thing; and the reckless generosity of its inhabitants. kale brose stimulates thought ; haggis hanghty Scotch-Irish must go off the ‘The diet of Scotland is the envy of makes philosophy and dialect hand- map to the spot in chaos whence they the earth; to that the Scot owes maids of literature; and Scotch whis- came. Iuseph Smith, NOR GAMECOCKS EXISTED, BUT THE MEGALOSAURT CO! comicbooks.com