Life — March 28, 1901 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Zi THE MISS NOMERS. Miss Brown Is exceedingly fair, Miss White ts as red asa berry, Miss Black has a gray head of hair, Miss Graves is @ firt ever merry Miss Lightbody weighs sixtecn stone, Miss Rich scarce can muster a guines, Miss Hare wears a wig and bas none, And Miss Solomon 1s a sad niony ! Mixa Mildmay’s a territile scold, Miss Dove's ever cross and contrary ; Miss Young Is now grown very old, And Miss Heaviside’s light as a fairy! Miss Short Is at Icast five feet ten, Miss Noble's of humble extraction, Miss Love has a batred toward men, While Miss Still ts forever In action, een Is a regular blue, et looks pale as a iily, Miss Violet ne‘er shrinks from our view, And Miss Wiseman thinks ail the men silly. hiltd is a naughty young elf, n'a from terror a fool, Miss Mee's not at all like myself, Miss Carpenter no one can rule! Miss Wright she ts constantly wrong, Miss Tickell, alas * 1s not fanny ; Miss Singer ne‘er warbled a song, And alas ! poor Miss Cash has no money ; Milas Baternan would give all she's worth nase a mun to ber Hiking, jock’ wt all mir men don't tind striking { Miss Bliss does with sorrow o'erflow, Miss Hope tn despair seeks the tomb ; ‘Miss Joy still anticipates woe, And Miss Charity 8 never “at home" ! ‘Miss Hamlet resides tn a city, The nerves of Miss Standfast are shaken ; Miss Pretiman’s beau 1s not pretty, Miss Faithful her love has forsaken t —Pick-Me Up. HONEYED WORDS Yesterday's inaugural derives a great part of the proofs. which It carries of the peculiar genlus of Its author from the unstinted abandance which appears therein of such words and combination of words as * liberty, * freedom, “oblt- gations,” “honor,” “peace,” “fervent prayer,” * horrors of war,’ “ great responsibilities,” * devotion, * reverently invoking,” “wise and patriotle,* “generous support,” “Constitutional methods.” “the pablic will,? © strong: hearts and helpful hands,’ + consctenc “righteous,” “patriotism,” “integrity and high purpose,” © fatth, “ progress,” “civilization,” “home,” “love,” “Justice,” “the fear of God,” “onward movement,” “ bunantty,’? “equality,” “ moderation and fairness,” * order," “ safety. “self-government,” * fidelity," and “the pursuit of bappt- ress.""— Boston Advertiser. “ FRANCES,” sad the little girl's mamma, who was enter. taining callers in the partor, “you came downstairs so nolsily that you could be heard all over the house. You know how to do It better than that. Now go back and come down the stairs like a lady." Frances retired and, after the lapse of # few minutes, re- entered the parior. “ Did you hear me come downstairs this time, mamma!" fo, dear. f am glad you came down quietir. Yow, don’t let me ever have to tell sou again not to cone dows noisily, for I see that you can come down quietly if sou wit, Now fell these ladies how you managed to come dows tikes lady the second time, while the frst time you made so much noise.” “The last time I slid down the banisters,” explained Frances. — Exchange. IN the palmy days of Greece three philosopbers ss against the sunny side of the temple, scratching Uermseires and discussing the Infinite and the branches thereof. “A woman,” said one, “dresses to please the mea,” “A woman,” sald the other, assertively, * dresses to worry the other women.” The discussion waxed acrimontous, until both appealed to the third, who belonged to the school of the tricim “A woman,” satd he, ‘dresses to please the men, and thereby worry the other women.""—Jndianapolis I’re« CAPTAIN Evan Howstt, of Georgia, was talking the other day in Washington, D. ., to Senator Platt aboot fosomnla, © Now, sub,’ he sald, “1 have # sure cure for insomnia, and it 1s as simple as itis sure. When you goto bed and can't sleep, get up and take adrink. Go tack to bed and wait half an hour. If you do not go to sleep, get sp and take another drink, Repeat this, sub, at Intervals ef half an hour. If you do not go to sleep for four times making four drinks, then, sub, if you are not asleep, sou wu not care whether you sicep or not.”— Irjyonaut. “Jest before Badmun was sent to prison he bought a st of books, to be paid for in Installments." + What did he do that for?” “ fle said It would make the time seem shorter.” —Chicago Tribus. eat Britain. Tbe Inter- Hiding, Chancery Lane, pany, Bream’s «Ragland, AGENTS. EUROPEAN AGENTS—Messrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Marin. - Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. ~ That’s ‘THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md. FSTERBROOKS 150 Varieties, For Sale by all Stationers. STEEL PENS The Best Steel Pens Made Anywhere, Werts, Canes, §.1. THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO. 26 sts si, sev tat. | LIFE. Vol. 36. and Gold, Full Black. PRICE, $4.00. All! Bound in Maroon and Gold, Green If Copies are returned an allowance of $2.00 is made. ABLEND OF THE © FINEST EGYPTIAN. SURBRUG 204 Broadway.NY. A oy New York Central’s Grand Central Station, CENTER OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK. dear 80 sre ey bargin, EL comicbooks.com