Life — February 28, 1901 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eL| yx making our selection of candidates, we havo hitherto confined ourselves to the members of fairly respectable nations. But so liberal is our policy, so broad-minded are we in the pursuit of our duty, that we hold that even Scotchmen may be admitted, and this week we propose to make a test case, For purposes of comparison, all Scotch- men may be divided into two classes: Those who love money and those who don’t. The ones who don’t are by far the larger class, as it is estimated that there are more dead Scotchmen than living ones. Some people assert that a Scotchman, if he be caught young, is even then entitled to no consideration, but this is not necessarily so, Some Scotchinen have come over to this country when mere babies, grown up and become the officers of a foreign mission society, and achieved riches. Just because, therefore, we have admitted a Scotchman into Lire’s Hall of Fame, we see no reason for excuses, and we propose to make none. The following examination speaks for itself : Exmipit I, Anprew Caryeaie. “ Name?" “ Andy “* Where born?" “In the ould countr, “Did you do anything remarkable after you were born?" “ T remember the first thing I said.” “What was that’ “That it was a crime to die rich,”” “Have yon been in this country long?” “Oh, yes. About a hundred millions worth.” “Do you like it?” “Very much. Ican keep myself advertised most of the time.”” “Are you a snob?" “Oh, no. I've too much money.” ‘« Where do you expect to go when you die?”’ “To heaven.”’ “Does this idea please you?” “Well, I don’t know. I shall have to start all over again.’’ PE® “But then you are a Scotchman, and heaven may have tariff protection. Mr, Carnegie, do you have any trouble ving away your income?" ‘Oh, yes. I find it hard to be charitable.” What are your favorite books?’ - My check book and the Bible.”” “Do you believe in libraries?” “Yes.. Lalways have one up my sleeve.” “Do you think Abraham Lincoln would have been a better president if he had belonged to one?”’ ‘‘ He's of no consequence. He died comparatively poor.” “But didn’t you say that was what every man should do?"* “Not unless he is rich enough to afford it.”’ “ That will do, Andrew. Step up and register.” Don't Make Martyrs of Them. TPE Legislature at Albany has boon meditating on a bill to 4+ keep Christian Scientists from practicing the healing art ‘They will do well to go slow. If the will tend to spread more than ev should not be art Science does The privileg cing a crank ed, for it is very precious. Christian $ f, but almost to squelch it would be apt to do more mischief still, Nor should doctors of the uncertain science of mi ¢ have too conclusive a monopoly To draft a bill that shall climinate fr ience its power for mischief without eliminating by the same act too much of the liberty of the patient, isa finer job than the New York Legislature seems at all likely to accomplish. ‘The Medical Association aforesaid thinks it can be done, and supports Assemblyman Bell's bill to do it, ‘The arguments of its Vresident, Dr, Wyeth, have much force, but it is not clear that they have foree enough to overcome the objections to the bill. The Christian Scientists, as a rule, are educated people, who ought to be pable of taking care of themselves. They should have the utmost liberty to be wise or to be foolish—to live or to die—which is con- sistent with a reasonable regard for public safety. Major Wood ; CORPORAL, WHAT HAS HAPPENED To THE PooR FELLOW? “PLEASE, 81R, MERELY A LITTLE HAZING.” comicbooks.com