Life — January 10, 1901 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ERR ANDIDATES for admisston should send tn their appli- cations early toavold the rush, First come, first served. Any candidate wil! be considered, provided be bas ever done anything to excite the approbation, sym- pathy, derision, annoyance, disgust or amusement of the public. Candidates will be examined to test thelr fituess for the honor of betng admitted to Live's Hall of Fame, on any day in the week that a quorum ts present. aminations strictly private and confidential. They will not be published until after a candidate bas been admitted and bis immortality has been assured. We take pleasuro in announcing this week the name of Marcus Hanna as being the fourth successful candidate to the Hall of Fame. The following examination took place, showing Mr. Hanna’s fitness : Exmrt D. M. A. Hasna. “Your name is?” “ Mark Hanna.’’ **Occupation?’’ “Blending of moneyed Pouitician, 29 Republican party and the eternal blesscdness of all trusts." “* Do you believe in the Constitution ? "’ “ Yes—the revised version.” “ What do you think of imperialism ?"" “Tt has come to stay.”’ » “Do you believe in sound money?” “No. Silent.” “Have you ever done anything you were ashamed of?” “Yes. I once thought of entering the lower house of Congress." “* What do you consider will be your chief claim to im- mortality in the future ?”” “The fact that I founded a new empire.” “That will do, Mr. Hanna. You're in.” The King's Jester. ARTI is the great King’s kitehen, wide and vast, Where each of us, a laboring cook, doth try To bake for him some dainty unsurpassed— To win his regal favor each doth vie. For ‘tis to him who cooks the daintiest fare A boon, that he shall leave his humble place And gladly mount the great King’s marble stair, To swagger in his halls in gold and lace. Cuance is a jolly jester, wand’ring through, Who, bent on mischief, casts his eyes around To find another scurvy trick or two ‘That to his far-famed foolship He spies a pasty baking merrily, And quickly, ere the busy cook can know, With finger pokes it, swelling airily— And lo!—our daintiest cake is turned to dough ! Joseph H. Gregory. y redound. interests.”” “This keeps you busy, does it, Mr. Hanna?” “Well, yes. But I am not so busy now as I was before the election. Then I was rushed to death.” “Where is your dence?” “* My temporary residence is in Cleveland, but I reside permanently in the White House.” “ How long have you been President?” “ About years.”” “Pleass Hanna.”” “Well, years on March.”’ “What is your religion?” resi- four or five be exact, Mr. it will be the five fourth of SOR Sha — SS “TI believe in William McKinley, because he al- ways does as I tell him; the power and majesty of the A SQUARE MEAL. SINCE YOU'VE KNOWN Ue. Mr. Sdfmade ; REMEMBER, CHILDREX, WHEN 1 WAS A ROY 1 OFTEN WENT TO RED MUNUKY, AND SELDOM HAD Little Tommy (who ia tired of hearing about i: weit, THAT sUST siOWK NOW MUCH BETTER Orr You ane comicbooks.com