Life — January 10, 1901 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

of buying so many Lires, and started to figure their net profit. An interval occurred, punctuated by the scratch- ing of the pen, a triumphant chuckle from the man, an anxious query from the girl, more chuckles, more queries, and finally the result was announced, In tho language of figures those twenty heads could be arranged in two quintillion, four hun- dred and thirty-two quadrillion, nine hundred and two trillion, eight billion, one hundred and seventy-six million, six hundred and forty thou- sand different ways (2,432,902,008, 176,640,000). As she failed to grasp the full significance of this, he put it another way. The population of the earth is estimated at about one billion and a half people. Now, sup- pose every man, woman and child, whether one of the pigmies of darkest Africa or an Esquimaux in the frozen North, were worth as much as the late Cornelius Vanderbilt with his seventy-two miliion dollars worth of this world’s goods. The combined wealth of this vast assemblage would not be sufficient to buy one-half enough Lires, at ten cents per copy, to enable them to immediately LAGI « vote all the possible combinations of those twenty innocent-looking heads. Of course, such a fairy-like con- tingency would prove very pleas- ant for the already overcrowded coffers of Lirr, but let us see how that enterprising paper would get along with its end of ke contract. We will have to suppose that the managers of Lire, in the year one B.C., had the foresight to acquire two million, five hun-* dred thousand enormous printing presses, capable of turning out one thousand copies of Lire 4 minute. If from that date down through the ages, they had kept that stu- pendous mass of machinery con- stantly pouring forth its flood of wit and humor, Lire would about have its stock on hand ready to sarry out our young friends’ scheme, in this year of our Lord nineteen hundred and one. For a few minutes the proposer of this simple little plan was silent, then a very meek voice was heard saying, “ As I've only got three dollars and forty cents and the competition closes Janu- ary 14th, I don’t believe I caught Lire napping after all.” A. C, Sherwood, Little Bear: on, vava! ne’ ALIVE, 1 THINK. Opportunity. ‘W ERE human wisdom enough To warn us, e’er belated, Life’s one best chance would ne‘er be lost, Because too long we waited. wise Or even if poor human wit Were keen enough or stronger, *Twould urge a quest for second best, Instead of dallying longer. But wit and wisdom oft delay ; And thus full many a mortal Ne'er gains the temple of success, Though standing at its portal. Isabelle H. Ferry, Looking Forward. [)AUcBtER : Yes, he pro- js posed to me—and made me just shudder ! Motner: Why, he has a fair income, and is quite respectable. “Ah, but, mamma, how could I entrust my whole future to a man so reckless and improvident as to want to marry !"” The Only Alternative. «J DO wish you would promise to be an abstainer.”” “Couldn’t, ma’am. Not built that way. Born in Kentucky, ma’am. Have to be born again, in Ohio or Kansas, or some such place, before I could promise that.” De aun SW) yp WAT HIM GNASIE IS TRETH.