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Life, 1900-12-01 · page 17 of 44

Life — December 1, 1900 — page 17: what you’re looking at

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Life — December 1, 1900 — page 17: Life, 1900-12-01

What you’re looking at

This is a domestic comedy about Christmas dinner planning. Von Blumer intends to invite 15 of *his* relatives, but his wife cleverly manipulates him into expanding the guest list by suggesting he invite her neglected saleslady relative, then gradually revealing she wants her own family present too—Aunt Delia, Cousin Josephine (mocked for talking too much), Cousin Sam from Utica, multiple aunts, and various other relations. The satire targets marital power dynamics: the wife's strategic cunning versus the husband's initial obliviousness. When Von Blumer realizes he's been outmaneuvered into hosting her entire extended family, he threatens to cancel Christmas dinner entirely rather than submit. The cartoons show the domestic chaos of planning and the couple's negotiation. The humor relies on recognizable family tension—relatives one must invite out of obligation rather than genuine desire—and the wife's superior manipulation skills.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

457 “If I were you,” said Mrs. Von Blumer, “I wouldn't take up too much time with Clotilde now, You can do that afterwards. Why not make out a list?” Von Blumer sprang to his feet, went over to his desk, and for fifteen minutes the sound of deep thought could almost be heard at intervals with the determined scratching of a pen. ‘There!” he ex- claimed at last, ‘I've got ‘em all down. Fifteen in all, But, of course, some won't come. Here's the complete list.” His wife took the paper in her hand, and glanced it over rapidly. She, too, bad not been idle, Her way was now clear. “This is all your family, dear,” she said, slowly. “ True,” said Von Blumer. where,” ‘What of it?” said Mrs, Von Blumer. against her. This is Christmas, isn’t it? happy you can make ber.” Von Blumer's eyes glowed with feeling. “You're right,” he said, ‘To think of how I've neglected that girl, Never mind. I'll make it upto her. Poor thing! She doesn’t know what itis to be happy. Here all these years I haven't said a tender word to her. It's shameful! I might have invited her up occasionally, I——” “But she’s a saleslady some- “That's nothing Think of how “Why, of course,” said Von Blumer, his enthusiasm bristling up at the slightest * Who's family ought sign of opposition. it to be?” Mrs, Von Blumer smiled. “Of course, dear,” she said, ‘‘that’s all right. But I want this dinner party to be @ complete success, and I think we ought to make as many people happy as possible, don’t you?” “Why, certainly.” “T see,” continued Mrs. Von Blumer, “that you haven't mentioned my side, but I really think my Aunt Delia ought to come. She's a good old soul, and——” Her husband regarded her with a slight attitude of nervousness. His roseate pic- ture of Christmas had not taken in this pos- sibility. He had forgotten the other end. But the justice of the matter appealed to him, and he responded with some alacrity, “*Why, certainly, I suppose she ought to come.” “Then,” said Mrs. Von Blumer, ** there's Cousin Josephine. She's——" “I know what she is,” replied Von Blumer. ‘Her tongue is as long as a yardstick. Put her down, but separate us at the table.” “Then,” said Mrs. Von Blumer, half ab- atractedly, ‘‘ there’s Cousin Sam, who lives in Utica, and Aunt Harriet and Uncle Henry and the two other maiden aunts who called at your office, and Cousin once-removed Julia who gave us the family Bible, and Uncle Jake on mother’s side and the chil- dren, and: aa The light of a fine cunning spread over Von Blumer’s determined face. “Enough!” he exclaimed. ‘I see what your little game is. You propose to have all your relatives too. But, Madam, rather than have that happen, I'll call the whole thing off, and, by Jove, I won't give you the satisfaction of having any Christmas dinner at all!” Tom Masson.