Life — December 1, 1900 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“NOW FOR THE COMMITTEE.” ERECTED: TO-THE MEMORY: OF WH-JNO- POKERNOSE SOCIOLOGIST Lines toa Gray Sister. WV BEN lovely woman’ touches forty, And finds, too soon, hor hair is gray, What charm can make her blithe and sporty And hide tho fact that she’s passé? Thero's but one way to make hor pleasing And bring back"gladness to her eye, So, fast tho horns of Taurus seiz- ing, Her only refuge is—to dyo! Dick Law, A New One. “TONES has a new cure tor his obesity.” “What fs it?” “He worries himself thin over his growing fat.” ERECTED: TO THE MEMORY: OF. *LIPE* A Family Christmas Party. T was just two weeks before Christmas. Von Blumer was in a joyous, reminiscent mood. He sat before the open grate fire, and as he looked into the embers and saw beautiful and glowing images of the best parts of his past life, he smiled softly to himself. Thiogs had gone well with Von Blumer that aay, and his mercurial temperament responded to the transient har- mony of events. Foralong time he sat in a brown study. “* My dear,” he said at last. suddenly, with a fine burst of feeling, “T've been thinking this thing over, and this year I propose to have a genuine, old-fashioned Christmas dinner party.” Mrs. Von Blumer regarded him with a look of mingled sur- prise and horror. “I knew you were up to something,” sbe said, auxiously. “*But, dear, please don’t do that.” Her husband regarded her critically. “That's just like you women,” he exclaimed, ‘ If I should forget the anniversary of our wedding day, you wouldn't speak to me fora week. Now, whea I show tbat I have still got some real, honest sentiment left in me, you try to crush it, But it won't be crushed! I’m going to have that dinner party. Im going to have the relatives—cousins, aunts, children and all. We'll trim the house, open up everything, and have a real jolly, romping, old-fashioned Christmas. Come, let's get to work and send off the invitations,” Mrs. Von Blumer had been face to face with sudden emergep- cies before, and she was not altogether lacking in courage and tact. But here was a situation which required all her resources, It was better, she saw instinctively, to humor the pa- tient, and trust to luck to save the day. Yet she shuddered unconsciously when she thought of the consequences. Her husband, with all the cunning of a man possessed with a single idea and deter- mined to carry it through, noticed this at once. “Ah!” he exclaimed. ‘So you don’t agree with me. You don’t intend to join hands with me in this matter, I'l]——" Mrs. Von Blumer laid her band reassuringly on his arm. “Forgive me, dear,” she said. ‘You are right. I think it would, after all, be a fine idea. I quite look forward to it.” A woman does this sort of thing so much better than a man. Von Blumer chuckled, ‘I koew you'd come around,” he said. ‘t Now, whom shall we have? First, there’s Cousin Mary, I haven't seen her for years.” “Yes,” said his wife, ‘and there's your Uncle Will- WM-JNO- POKERNOSE. iam, who lives in Boston and there’s your other cousin, Clotilde.” comicbooks.com