Life — October 25, 1900 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Driven to Steal. F Ethel's bonnet is a “love,” Her Paris gown just “dear, ‘The latest coiffure It really makes m ‘That I must soon a-thieving go, And snatch from Cupid's pelf, Some word as yet unused, to fit ‘The charm of Ethel’s self. Anna M, Fowlir On Being Engaged. O descant upon a subject with which the majority of mankind are so familiar requires some degree of assurance, and Wwe must approach it with that caution which is necessary when one is undertaking the task of enlightening a possible superior, Authors, as a rule, should hold together, and write only upon subjects cf which their readers know less than they, because the chief value of an-interesting lie depends upon the ignorance of the recipient. There is then no chance of being con- tradicted. We are safe. With engagements it is different. We have all had more or less experi- ence, and each one feels fitted to give his own ady There are, however, a few points upon which too much light may never be thrown. With a man, the engagement period lies between the time when he first begins to act like a fool, up to the time when he realizes his folly. Being en- gaged is a dream. When a man is married he wakes up. Now, in considering this period, let us do so (if we can) without emotion, in that calm, broad, scientific spirit in which all momentous questions should be treated. Politics, battles, map- making are as nothing compared to it. We must first, then, abandon ourselves: toa proper definition : Exaacep: A short period in the life of a man or woman (usually, but not necessarily young) in which the appetite declines, the pulse doubles, and everybody else suffers. During this time there is occasional, but no long-continued sanity. The pject moves as in a dre Ifa , he spends money like a mag- nd if a woman, she beli everything she is told. Syx.: Won, Landed, Caught, It is not to be expected that, during this period, a man will be guided by reason, but it is just as well to know “LIFE: where we stand. There is always a method to any madness, First, the ring. The blind folly of man has been the cause of more trouble about the ring than almost any other agent. There is only one safe way. A man should always surprise his fiancée with an engagement ring which she has previously selected herself. This is not only a good beginning, but it will be the cause of future harmony. By showing his idol that he knows she doesn’t trust him, her lack of confi- dence will be neatly turned into a source of happiness. This point settled, the engaged couple may be considered well launched upon their brief career, and we may well stop to consider why and how the length of this period has such bearings on this blessed, dovetailed idiocy, The engagement is usually thought to be a time—not indeed of probation—but of delightful tintillation, of honey-sweet expectancy, when the steeds of respon- sibility are given slack rein, and we move along the road of life in a won- drous abstraction. Yet hold! There must be a limit to all this, beyond which it is not safe to go. At the end of a week's engagement, a man is always convinced that nothing can ever come between them. At the end of a year he is still sitting up nights, but (alas!) he is doing it by asystem. The best time for a man to wed is that opportune moment when he becomes thoroughly con- vinced that he will never un- derstand HER. Then let him marry her quick, for he has arrived at a permanent and settled basis of reasoning. We would not be brazen iconoclasts and shatter too sud- denly this beautiful image by any untoward inference; yet, in an atmosphere surcharged with electricity, there must be, perforce, occasional storms— and quarrels come to make Love more brilliant by con- trast. And what is to be done with them? How shall a man act? There is but one rule that seems to be best. When you are right, always give in; when you are wrong, stick it out. This is the only way you can be sure of retaining HER respect. With quarrels there may be jealousies, which are sometimes desirable, often inevita- ble. Yet when a man is jealous, he should never attempt the disastrous alternative of concealing it. Let him out with it! But there are sorts and conditions of jealousies. Choose, ye lover, the right sort. Let yours be an epic jealousy, and you will be called a fool for your pains, which is HER best word for you—HER highest praise. This is only the man’s side, after all, Poor, floundering fellow, he needs help, sympathy, encouragement, in this awful, blissful hour, but we may never teach the woman. She knows it all, always. W 2ALTH is too apt to be handed down. The world would be better if it were handed up. Ominous. “ it very discouraging,” said the young man. ‘I confess that, at times, I considered myself a genius.”’ “But perhaps you are,’’ suggested his friend, soothingly. “Impossible. I explained my plans to half a dozen hard-headed, practical men, and not one of them seemed to think I was a blamed fool.”” Mrs, Bug ; THERE NOW, MR. BUG, 1 TOLD You NOT TO KEEP THOSE SHADE-TREE SEEDS IN THE CELLAR. i comicbooks.com