Life, 1900-09-27 · page 5 of 20
Life — September 27, 1900 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 245 This page contains several literary/humorous pieces rather than political cartoons: **"The Floating Soap"** (fable by Douglas Dunne): A satirical story about a discouraged young man who attempts suicide by drowning, but keeps being interrupted by a floating bar of soap he's thrown into the bath. The moral: "Nothing in Life is Unimportant. Buy the Soap that Floats"—a commercial joke mocking advertising's tendency to find profound meaning in trivial products. **"Astronomy"** (by Oliver Hereford): A poem about the moon and stars, unrelated to satire. **"A Desperate Case"**: A brief dialogue exchange between characters (Watchem and Stigham) about marriage and relationships, presenting marital complications as absurd social observation rather than political commentary. The page is primarily literary satire and humor rather than political cartooning.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Astronomy, FP HE moon let doven her silver hair In ripples on the sea— She loosed each diamond pin with care And stuck it carefully In the dark pincushion of the sky. “Ah! now,” I said, “I know the why “And wherefore of the stars. “Talways used to think at night, “To see them shine, they were the light “Of Seraphim's cigars. “Now I have learned, and none too soon, “They are the hairpins of the moon.” Oliver Herford. A Desperate Case. j R. WATCHEM: Odd thing, nowadays ! The single men seem to take to the married women, and the single women take to the married men. Mr. Stincuam: And the married women take to anyone they can get! » LIFE = The Floating Soap. (A FABLE.) YOUNG MAN who had been Disappointed in Love several times grew Completely Discouraged and Tired of Life. One day he Pre- pared a Tepid Bath, intending to End his Existence by Drowning. As he Sank for the Third Time all the Events of his Lifetime Thronged through his Brain. Atthe Same Time a piece of Castile soap fell from a wire case on the Wall into the Bath tub. The Futility and the Unpicturesque- ness of the Presence of the Soap caused him to Smile. Without chang- ing his Position, he Balanced it Upon his Feet and Dextrously threw it up- ward toward the Wire Basket. It Just Missed and again Fell into the Water. Annoyed by the Incident he once more Tricd to Throw the Soap into the Basket. This time he Suc- ceeded, His skill in accomplishing this Sim- plo yet Novel Feat pleased him So Much that he Gave Up the idea of Suicide and Devoted his Life to the Study of Soap Throwing. He now Travels with a Circus and is billed as The Only Living Soap King. MORAL? Nothing in Life is Unimportant. Buy the Soap that Floats. Douglas Dunne. 245 The Hall of Wasted Things. T the Castle of Men’s Sorrows, in the Hall of Wasted Things, Are broken old betrothals, and old betrothal rings, And long-forgotten kisses, and old letters never sent, And heartstrings of young lovers that faith- less ones have rent, And long-since burnt-out passions, and the fires of wasted loves, And cast-off maidens’ ringlets, and pairs of maidens’ gloves, And smiles that men have treasured, and sweet glances gone astray, And broken words of lovers, and hours of many a day. Now with these I'd fain deposit some few things of my own— : Some paltry, wasted trifles that some one has outgrown : This tiny, battered locket, and this bit of gem-set gold, And the love I've left unspoken, and the love I may have told ; May they lie and be forgotten, where the gray-robed angel sings— The Angel of Oblivion, in the Hall of Wasted Things. Eugene Herbert MacLean, No! Other men may do it, but if you reject me, I can never H be a friend. Sue: But it would be tho same if I married you. -RON 0 Cusmians - 5B Apple Worm: uxy, THERE! LOOK OUT WHERE YOU'RE SHOOTING! YOU'RE AIMING RIGHT AT ME.