Life — August 30, 1900 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE DOCTOR. ‘The doctor tells you what to eat And likewise what to wear. He checks each pleasure that you meet And says ** you do not dare." ‘Tne doctor ts canny elf— He warns us "gainst diseases, But wears his clothes to please himself And eats Just what he pleases. —Exchange, MR. CLYDE Fivcu, the playwright, had two reasons for Joining with New Yorkers In celebrating the recent Nathan Hale anniversary—bis own enthuslasmn for the hero and the memory of the wonderfal success of bis play by that name. Incidentally, Mr. Fitch told a good story on himself. When Mr. and Mrs, Goodwin had finished the season's run with Nathan Hale, and Mr, Fitch, the author, invited them to @ dinner at bis apartments, he pondered long on what to have as the plice de résistance. It must be something suggestive of the hero of the play, ‘On his way down town on the day uf the dinner he saw ‘an exquisite statue in bronze of Nathan Hale displayed tn & Jeweler's window. The figure was a replica of the famous statue that stands in City Hall Park. The very thing, he thought, to put In the centre of the table upon a huge bed of red, white and blue flowers 1 By the time be got into the shop and was waited on his enthustasm had grown #o that he had decided to have that statue at any price. He already saw on the faces of bis guests thelr looks of delight at his tugenuity. And he deter- mined that the statue must be'bis own permanently, if be could find a place for It. ‘The clerk told him the price was three hundred and fifty dollars, This did not make him hesitate, and he gave the firm his name and address, and asked that he be allowed to take the statue home, so that he could try tts height in a certain niche which he hoped it would fit, He would give them his check for one hundred dollars for security, take a hansom and carry the statue home with him, being person- ally responsible for its safety. Le would return {t early on the morrow if tt didn’t fit. The firm, knowing bim as a man of reputation, agreed, and off drove Mr. Fitch with his beloved bronze. ‘The dinner was a success, The guests were enthustastic over Mr. Fitch's clever pitce de réststance. Mr, Goodwin took the host aside and kald : + Clyde, I don’t want to be tmpolite, but, you see, Maxine has gone wild over that statue of Hale, Clever thing, you know, great Idea—symbolic, sentimental, and ull that sort of thing. Now, old fellow, you know what a woman 1s when her heart is set on a thing ; why not sell Itto me and let me give It to her as a souvenir of our successful year?” Mr. Fitch demurred, for bis heart was set on keeping that bronze; but he could not refuse such a favor to Mrs, podwin. Mr. Goodwin made out # check for three hundred and Afty dollars, and Mra, Goodwin was bilssful. Mr. Fitch sent two hundred and fifty dollars to the firm the next day, with many thanks, saying the statue and the niche barmo- nized perfectly. — Saturday Evening Post. PRestpENt JOUN QUINCY ADAMS once asserted that he “would not give fifty cents for all the works of Phidias or Praxiteles,” adding that he “ hoped that America would not think of sculpture for two centurles to come.”* On hearing of this, Willlam Morris Hunt, the foremost American painter of his day, dryly inquired : “Does that sum of money really represent Mr. Adams's estimate of the sculpture of those artists, or the value which he placed upon fifty cents?" — Argonaut, AN American, who had occasion to consult @ prominent business man in Rio Janelro, tells of his experience in a letter to the New Orleans Times-Democrat: * Senhor José has not yet arrived,’ the head clerk would say, Dlandly, when I inquired for bis priactpal. + How soon will he be in ?* I would ask, innocently. “God knows, senhor,* the clerk would reply, still ta. rumed. “Then, perhaps, after calling five or six times, I would get desperate, and a conversation something like this would ensue + Will Senor Joaé be here to-day?” * Ah, senhor, I know not.’ “** Well, to-morrow, then?’ “ «Perhaps ; who knows?! “+ Bat I want to make an appointment. Do you expec him any time next week?" «It 1s possible, senhor * “Oh! confound it! Will he be here this year?* “*He may, senhor.'""—N. Y. Tyidune, Tux small son of Chicago parson came bome one day with @ badly-distigured face. His father called him up for the usual heart-to-heart talk. “What have you been doing?" « Fighting.” Son, have you forgotten what I have sald abot fighting?” “He bit me on the cheek ” “ How often have I told you that the Good Book tells as to turn the other cheek?” 3 “1 did, pa—bonest—bat he smashed me on the nose, asd I called that a foul and went In and licked the stufin’ oatot him, And, pa, he's been to Sunday-school as much as 1 bare, and ought to know the rules 1""— Ware. ECnorran AGENTs—Messrs. Brentano, ST Avenue del'Opera, Paria, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md. Works, Camden, 5.1, FSTERBROOKS 150. Varieties For Sale by all Stationers, THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO. 26 John SL, Kew Terk. 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