Life — August 30, 1900 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GOING TO WELCOME HUBBY. “cuus iNprep! rit cium miu!" things. By this simple rule hotel keepers become million- aires and cligible for the Senate, and their daughters marry decayed dukes and bankrupt barons. Hofel keepers are mountaineers by birth; no others need apply; in Europe they are Swiss; in America they are raised in Vermont and New Hampshire or bred in Old Kentucky. . * * THE Houses called hotels in shop-worn cities are run for the convenience of drummers and dramatic troupers; the outside public who are wrecked there and who pay fat prices for Jean treatment, are mere incidents in them; they, perhaps, get some trifling attention after the drummers and troupers have no further use for the amiable help. The houso has help, not servants. The ordinary American, battling with the bulletin known as a bill of fare, is regaled with the early Assyrian anecdotes of the traveling gent and the personal glories of the trouper as first aids to digestion. A waitress, inflated with the antique persiflage of the drummer and awed by the renown of the leading gent, wonders why the ordinary wayfarer dares to invoke her aid, and the traveler suffers. At night, if he has not taken ether, the guest is apt to hate A. R. T., for he finds the midnight hours clamorous with the grievances of stars, soubrettes, heroes, singers, heavy villains, vaudevilleins and plain chori, when he needs peace and silence for rest. Should he affect the parlor or office in the absence of trouper 175 trict assembled there to inquire into his past, present and. future career. The redeeming feature of the Spanish Inqui- sition was its intolerance of hotels, The American hotel is a genuine American institution ; it is a form of crime peculiar to this Continent ; there is nothing like it anywhere else on earth. J8. [THOSE who have the impression that the Chinese are behind us in civilization, should read the following: Chinese women earnest. They not spend time making thelr hair crooked on trons, making their walsts small, making their dresses full of frills and changing ail time. Chinese women not strive for how to look, but how to be, . . . . You not understand our ways. You not like some—about the marriage. But itis better. You think tt hard. It is wisdom. Mme. Wu in the World. ‘We would not be so impolite as to assert that there may be some truth in what Mme. Wu asserts with so much originality. But her remark does not strike us as being “ barbarian ’” to a marked degree. «¢7RR’ER JOHNSON,” said the elder of one of the colored churches to the recently-appointed pastor, ‘what does yo’ tink ob de congregashun?”’ “Well, Br’er Jones, sence yo’ asks me, I mus’ say dey is er scrubby lookin’ set.”” ““Why, what does yo’ mean, Br’er Johnson? Dey has mo’ camp meetin’s and get ‘ligion oftener dan mos’ eny congregashun in de town.” . “‘Dat’s jes’ it, Br’er Jones, dat’s jes’ it. Dey has done wore out de seats ob dey pants backslidin’, and de knees er prayin’ fer fo’gibeness.”” Visltor: 1 SUPPOSE WHEN YOUR #ON I8AAC GROWS UP HE'LL BECOME A RADBI, EI? or drummer, he will find the natives of the dis- Ars, Sothetmer; now pip YOU GUESS DAT VE VERE WEPREWS? comicbooks.com