Life — August 9, 1900 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

tion from either point of view, Lire will give A Prize of One Hundred and Fifty Dollars in Gold, seventy-five dollars in gold to the second best, and f twenty-five dollars in gold to the third best. Conditions. All manuscripts should be addressed to the Editor of Live, 19 West Sist Street, New York. Tbe competition 1s open to regular subscribers for Live only. All new subseribers will be included. Competitors must limit thelr argu- ments to four hundred words each. The manuscripts should, whero possibile, be typewritten, on one sido only of the paper. The winning argument will be printed, tozether with such others as may seem to Live worthy of that honor. Names and addresses of the writers should accompany all manuscripts, In nocase will these be printed with- out the permission of the sender. ‘Those who dealre their manuscripts returned should enclose @ stamped and addressed return envelope. Other- wise all unavailable manuscripts will he destroyed. Each manuscript'may bear ® pseu- donym, which will be printed with the argument. a The Editors of Lire are to be the sole Judges of the merits of the arguments. Asa guide to compett- tors, however, !t may be stated that ‘the arguments will be judged by three standards, in the following order: 1, Humor. 2 Originality, 3, Liter- ary Merit. Tho date on which the contest will close will be announced later. A Sure Thing. HE CONSUMER: Ow! Ow! Ouch! Tue Trust: Ha, ha, ha! “Let up. Cuch! Stop it. Oh! Ow! Please stop.” “Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha!”* “Oh! Ow! Ouch! Con- found you, you're squeezing the life out of me. Ow ! Stop, darn it, stop.” “Ha, ha, ha! By Griggs, youare amusing. Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha!” “Funny, is it? Oh! Ow! Ouch! It won't be so funny WHAT LITTLE WILLIE-TIINKS WILL IAPPEN IP 118 FLIES itis KITE arrEn bank. When I get my handson you.” THE ORIGINAL NEW WOMAN, 413 “Get your hands on me? That's a good one. Ha, ha, ha! By Hanna, that is a good one. You get your hands on me. Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha,ha! Ha, ha, ha!" “Well, why not? Ow ! Oh, ouch! Oh, ow! Wow! And I will, too, this fall.” “Oh, no, you won't. Ha, ha, ha! Your excees of un- reasoning enthusiasm won’t let you. Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha!” ‘Ouch! Oh, ouch! Ow-w-w! ‘You see if I don’t blast you for this.” “Phew! Why, if you do intend anything like that, I'll , just holler patriotism and glorious destiny and duty to humanity and never - pull- down-the-flag in your car, and you'll take off your coat to help elect my party of patriot- ism, prosperity and pelf. You get your hands on me? By Mac, that isa good one. Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha! Alex, Ricketts.