Life — July 19, 1900 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘he main tssucof the present Prosidential campaign is Imperialism. It is the policy of expansion against comfortable isolation, The future of this country would be widely dicergent under either of these tco policies. What will be the future condition of the United States of America in its governmental, social, political, domes- tic, artistic, literary, sporting, religious or other aspects, as a result of the elec- tion of either Republican or Democratic candidate ? Lire will give A Prize of One Hundred and Fifty Dollars in Gold to the best reply to this question from either point of view, seventy-five dollars in gold to the second best, and twenty-five dollars in gold to the third best. Conditions. ‘The competition Is open to subscribers of Live, only, All new subscribers will be included Competitors must limit thelr arguments to four hundred words each. The manuscripts should, where possthle, be typewritten, on one side only of the paper. ‘The winning argument will be printed, to- gether with such others as may seem to Live worthy of that honor. Names and addresses of the writers should accompany all manuscripts. In no case will these Le printed without the permission of the sender. Those who desire thelr manuscripts returned should enclose a stamped and addressed return envelope. Otherwise all unavatiable manu scripts will be destroyed. Exch manuscript may beara pseudonym, which will be printed with the argument. The Editors of Live are to be the sole Judges of the merits of the arguments, Asa gulde to competitors, however, it may be stated that the arguments will be Judged by three standards, In the following order : 1. Humor. 2. Originallty, 3. Literary Mert. ‘The date on which the contest will cloxe will be announced later. Inconsistent, “ HAT makes you think women W ; are such funny creatures?” Bicueap: Why, when they meet another woman on the street they see nothing but her clothes, while at the ide they see everything but her bathing suit. ‘LIFE * The Poet's Holiday. ath the shade 1 forest glade— This dell, where Nature, deft, hath made A bower! With clear bird-notes the woods—[My dear, Pray put the luncheon basket here. ‘The sun will turn the milk, I fear, Quite sour.} : With clear bird-notes the woods abound, And to the symphony around The brooklet lends its tinkling sound Of waters. Unfettered, free the fancy runs. No thought of care, no fear of duns— While near ne gambol sundry sons And daughters, How sweet the breath of-- (Goodness, Sue! Do keep your eye on little Lou!) ‘The breath of violets gemmed with dew, Pervading The fragrant, circumambient air! (Johnny! ‘That's poison ivy there!] Oh! would that—{Lizzie, don’t you dare Go wading !] Oh! would that thus beneath the trees, Wooed by the incense-laden breeze— (Boys! do quit stirring up those bees ; ‘They'll sting you! ] Enraptured I m Adolph ‘ou climb so high, When next we have a picntfe, I Won't bring you !] T envy them whose lot befalls Outside the grimy In modest cots, in spi Or shanties. And if—[My son, will you refrain From sitting on that pie again? The huckleberry juice will stain Your panties.) And if kind Fate woald—[Susan, look ! There's Billy fallen in the brook 1} Kind Fate would—{Girls! that cow will hook!) Would favor, ‘The city’s raucous strife I'd leave— (My love, that bug crawled up your sleeve t} And to these sylvan scenes I'd cicave Forever! ° ° ° My dear, I think a longer stay Not alte And that it’s time our homeward way We wended. I'm sorry—but it seems to me We'd better take the train at three Instead of six o'clock, as we Intended! her wise to-day, We Are the People. ‘THERE is no doubt that the great Anglo-Saxon race in its work of universal improvement has a big job before it. One of the first steps is to teach inferior races humility. ‘‘The heathen are so. perverse,” says the London Zoophilist. “ Here is Wa Ting Fang, the Chinese Minister at Wash- ington, actually criticising the man- ners and customs of the Western world, instead of devoting himself to the absorption of our religion and civil- ization, He says: ‘And then the women’s hats, O my ! Great big things with dead birds and animals on them ! Is that humanity?’ And this froma * Heathen Chinee !""" Faith in Her Ways. ««(XOUSIN DOROTHY’S train gets / in at five-thirty.” “Well, I'll be at the station at six- thirty.” “ Six-thirty ?”” “Yes ; Dorothy is always an hour late whatever she does. Hct water mark in oratory was reached in the Philadelphia con- vention by Senator Thurston of Ne- braska, who compared the Major to tho eagle, calmly circling high above tho freo-silver hawks and Nebraska buzzards, “the one sole, peerless monarch of the snow-capped peaks and the empyrean blue.’? Senator Thurston had tho biggest voice at the convention and his eloquence got home on every delegate. “Is YOUR MARRIED LIFE WAPPY?"* “OM, YES. MY MOTHER IN-LAW Is AN INCUBATOR.” comicbooks.com