Life, 1900-07-05 · page 13 of 20
Life — July 5, 1900 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces: **Top cartoon ("Fun in Nursery Land"):** A toy yachtsman falls overboard but reassures companions he won't sink—likely mocking overconfidence or false bravado in trivial matters. **"Quite Right" dialogue:** Mrs. Bingo wants to attend church instead of golf; Bingo refuses because he needs a break from the minister—a joke about tedious sermons. **Bishop Spalding quote:** A lengthy passage criticizing American imperialism in the Philippines (the "real war" reference), arguing that the U.S. fights for conquest and gold under false pretenses of civilizing "unfit" peoples. This reflects anti-imperialist sentiment common in early 1900s progressive circles. **"The Measure of Success":** A charlatan "healer" charges three dollars to align patients with "the universe"—satire on quack spiritualism and wellness frauds. **Bottom cartoon:** A defendant from "Bulu Island, Hawaii" is charged with polygamy, claiming it's legal where he's from—humor based on racial stereotyping and perceived "primitive" customs. The page reflects early 20th-century American debates over imperialism, religious hypocrisy, and fraud.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FUN IN NURSERY LAND. Toy Yachtsman (overboard): pox't We ALARMED, PELLOWS, I WON'T SINK. Quite Right. N RS. BINGO: Let’s gu to church to-day, instead of 4V1 playing-golf. Binco: No, thanks, There's one day in the week I want to have a rest from that minister. WE fate sympathized sith all oppressed peoples—with Ireland, Greece, Arinents, Cuba, To emancipate the slave we giadly sacrificed the lives of hundreds of thousands of our soldiers, And now the American soidler, who should never shoulder a gun except ina righteous cause, Is sent ten thousand miles Acrows the ocean to shoot men whose real crime {4 that they wish to be free wish to govern themselves. ‘To ‘say that they are unfit for freedom {a to put forth the plea of the tyrant in all ages and everywhere The enemies of Iberty have never lucked for pretexts to Justify their wrongs ; t truth, at the root of all ‘wars of conquest there Iles lust for biood or for gold, — Bishop Spalding. Here’s a Bishop who knows what he is talking about. But oh, how different he is from some other Bishops we know. Would there were more like this Bishop, who, knowing the truth, is not afraid to * proclaim it. The Measure of Success. HE HEALER: Your greatest need, madam, is to place yourself in harmony with the universe. Tue Wine Oxe: But how can that be done ? “For three dollars a treatment.” TEPHEN CRANE seems to have died of too much opportunity. He wrote a book about war as he imagined it, and made such a reputation as a describer of battles that he was immediately employed to go to real wars. He went to two in quick succession, and they used him up. His fate should be a warning to young writers to stick to what they don’t know, and cultivate their imagi- nations. That is what our successful writers Johnston, Mr. Churchill, and th Write about folks who are dead and can't bring suit, and make them do the Ii can think of. Judge: YOU ARE CHARGED WITH HAVING MORE THAN ONE WIFT. A RAM, THATS BO." ON'T YOU KNOW THAT'S AGAINST THE UNITED STATES Law?” “TAIN'T AGAINST THE LAW WHERE 1 COME FROM." *wueny’s THAT?" “ BULU ISLAND, BAIL” est things you comicbooks.com