Life — May 31, 1900 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

465 who went crazy trying to devise a means to ullitze banana peelings. Fewer matches are used tn Ralttmore than in any other village. Old newspapers are rolled into tapers and alight carted by them from room to room. One time a man’s house caught on fre this way, and when he rebulit the property he went back to the flint and stcel. Beer tx not @ favorite beverage in Baltimore because the foam does not taste good, and they hate to blow It away, A.W. Hay Jr. HARRISBURG. Harrisburg tx owned by four corporations, One runs an unending string of freight trains that divide tt tnto two parta—and {ts unwary inbabl- tants into many; another lets ttself put wires on anything above ground; another's are lights compel you to behold hideosities night would hide, and the rematotng one runs trolley cars that would make a Viking seasick. Hanisburg ts on the dirtiest river on earth — when itis not tn it. The streets are paved by nature and dratned by evaporation and absorp- tion, A voluntary (postlude) fire department, which ts the Joy of Iarael, adorns politics: the ru- mor of the existence of a police force was started by some amateur bacterlologist; asewage system that {s handicapped by the laws of physics ts the triumph tn architecture; and a canal, a stagnant creek and same malignant swamps break the monotony and also furnish a stamping-ground for those malarta-bugs that cannot stand the riverside, In short, 1f you want to hear the English of a London slum murdered, if you want a burlesque on Patagonian law, if you want to be bilnded with the dust of decades, to chew your drinking water, to breathe with a teaspoon, to learn to love glue factories, to hate Lot's wife, and to be glad to dle, why, move to Harrisburg. parleycorn, AURORA, 1900, A Kind Heart. LARA: Sadie Starling is a great society girl, isn't shu ? ‘ Mavp: Yes, but she's awfully good to ber parents, They've met nearly all her friends. The National Boer Relief Fund Association. HE silent and plucky Boers, con- cerning whom an infinity of vicious lics is now being absorbed by the English people, are certainly cntithd to the sympathy and best wishes of every sincere Republican, The following extracts from a recent appeal to Americans fell an unvarnished and a truthful tale: You are w citizen of the greatest Repubite and & beneficlary of the freest government ever established by civilized man, As such we ask you to ald in mitigating the grave evils which must inevitably Le suffered by innocent people, through the war now raging between Great Britain and the South African Repaliites, It fs true that all the victlms—English and = ==