Life — April 26, 1900 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘THE OUSRQUTES. strong point.) “I moan that my act would sot in motion a wavo of guilty influence which would roll through limitless space and affect every human being in the world. You seo, it isn’t the mag- nitude of tho theft that counts—it’s the othical and psychological principle involved.” “That must have been a most interesting address,” said Lascoll, suppressing a yawn. “Oh, {t was wonderful. I only wish you could havo been there to hear it.” “So sorry I missed {t,” murmured Lascoll, as he thought of the two hours and fifty-five minutes, “ You can't imagine how it impressed me,” concluded Mrs, Las- cell in a final burst of enthusiasm. “It was so uplifting, you know —gavo ono such a tremendous sense of personal responsibility. I came away feeling like a different woman, Ob, I forgot to tell you. Coming home I actually made five cents out of the Broadway cable How? By walking?” “No, ina much easier way than that, The car I got into was very crowded and when the conductor came round for the fares I looked him straight in the face 80 unconcernedly that he took it for granted I had paid.” «But that wasn’t exactly according to the doctrine of the moral responsibility of the universe, was it?” « How ridiculous you are1” exclaimed Mrs, Lascell, indignantly. “Just as it tho moral responsibility of the universe had anything to do with my getting a freo ride out of a horrid old traction company.” Harold Stuart Eyre. “ AVE you read ‘ Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde’ ?” asked the man from the States, “No; not yet,” replied the illiterate Porto Rican, “my attention is being monopolized by ‘Mr. McKinley and Mr. McKinley.’ ” An Expensive Vagary. ¥e ITY, who half-killed you, old man?” ‘Oh, it’s just some more of my luck. My mobe got away from me, and took me through a plate-glass window yesterday.” “That is bard luck, sure.” “Ob, I’m not kicking about that particularly. But it was a milliner’s window, full of spring bonnets. Now, why couldn't it have picked out a jeweler’s, or goldsmith’s, or some cheap window like that to destroy things?’ JAX amusing criticism on Mr. Sheldon’s recent effort to give an example of what atruly good newspaper should be is that of Dr. Joseph Parker, of the City Temple in London, who points out that the Bible gives Mr. Sheldon a very defective warrant for his squeamishness about printing the news. ‘‘ The Bible,” Dr Parker says, ‘‘is a frank and free record of murder, tust, drunkenness, lying, hypocrisy, and prodigality.” Such things, in Dr, Parker's opinion, should be reported, and the antidote vigorously administered. That seems to have been the Bible way. ‘One can imagine Mr. Sheldon dealing with an historical occurrence which is of Scriptural record somewhat as follows : “The reports which connect previous conditions of domestic infelicity with the recent death of Colonel Uriah, of the First Hittites, are very positive and may have some basis. Involved’ In the scandal ts the name of a bigh official greatly honored tn this community, and amatnstay of church as well ay Suure. Without repeating the gross atortes which are belng circulated, and which, we trust, ure largely if not altogether calumntea, We venture (6 express our deep sympathy for both the families affected by these painful rumors. “LATER: We are able to make positive denial of the story that any of Governor Jeaseson's wives have sued for divorce. The Governor's family continues perfectly unanimous,”