Life — April 12, 1900 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN OLO STORY. I was nineteen, she twenty-elght, When frst L aaw her lovely face, Her fatry form of Itasome grace, I knew that | had met my fate When, as 1 saw her golden halr, Her carmiue lip, her cobalt eye, Tmnttered, with a furnace sig! “Ye gods, but she Is passing hitr She twenty-eight and [nineteen 1 I took to gloves ai To find more favor in her sight. Of my affections she Was queen ; Alternate hope and dark Would mount or rankle In my breast ; She spolled a good deal of my rest— I said that she was passing fair. She tweuty-elght, I twenty elght ! I see the powder on her face ; Her form has angles more than grace. Her eyes are blue, but not quite straight. I really thought my love would last, Hut Meeting years will love Impatr. I thought that she was paxsing falr— And so she was — but now she's past, — Chicago Recora, Tue old German had & son—a baby boy, He was anxious to know what the child w 1g to become when he grew be a man, what profession he would follow, or trade or occupation. know a plan,” he sald to bis wife one day. “1 will try See that table, 1 will get a Bible and a dollar and @ bottle of whiskey and pat tt on thattable. Then I will let the sittle boy come In, If he takes the Bible he will be a preacher. If he takes the dollar he wil! bea banker. If he takes the whiskey he will be a drunkard.” ‘The numerous articles were duly displayed upon the table. The voy wanuered in after some time, while the old main and his wife watched him from # crack in the door. He went at once to the table, looked It over a moment care Tuen he reached for the dollar, sild tt Into his pock: down the bottle of whiskey and drank 1ts contents and marched off with the Bible under his arm, ‘The old German turned to his wife : * My God, Gretchen, he's going to be a poilticlan 1" —Missouri Exeelstor. FUR MARCH SEVENTH, Nowapays Khakt, like Motley, is your only wear, Every- thing Is made in Khaki, Everyone ts wearing or using Khaklt Khak!-doodle-doo! Finst Crrtic : | went Vother day to see the Shakspeartan Sasalety play, the entire Quarto samiec, SeCOND Critic: Dry work But what's the good of @ Quarto Hamiet, unless the pints are made and taken? A Prorest Against A Possintiity,—Sin : 1 see adver: Used @ “St. Paul's Shirt.” What next? I don't mean “what next to the shirt,” because the answer Is evident, according to whether the Inner of outer side of the gurment Le Intended. No, | mean, will there be a “St. Peter's Hat,” “St Titus's Trouserings,” “St. Barnabas's Boots” and 80 forth? Yours, ‘THe Last oP THR BRacy’s. ‘Tae CRY PROM THE TaaNsvaaL: Mounts wanted. “A horse! horse ! my kingdom for a horse!" Cowotrtre: Room INTELLIGENCE —Attending for two hours a meeting as one of the members of a“ Standing Committee "? THE ESSENCE OP LUNDON “PUNCH” 13 very tiring. A Ighthearted witness, requiring som refreshment, requested to be Informed what the Standig Committee was “ golng to stand?” On the reply being gira by the chalrman that “the Committee would stand—p Impudence," witness fatnted, and - attained his object. Tess: She's getting old, There's no denying that. Jess: Why do you think so? “She complains that the styles in hats and gowns arece As pretty as they used to be."—Philavelphia Press. Tux head of the household was late getting in home, was very late. It was long past inldnight, Indeed, the tts, clock on the hall mantel had Just struck three o'clock whe he came walking in, He had been out with the boys, and ty wife reproached him. “Why, it's early, yet. It's not late.” Just then the clock sounded one, two, three. ‘The wife looked at him with grim rebuke. He caught ber eye and jerked out this reply “Well, now, If you want to belleve that darned dots. and-a half clock before your dear husband, it's all nght~ It was a similar occasion, only more so. At this thine be was # little drunker than usual. His step was unsteady, tc he had not lost his courteous manners, She met him at te front, weeping reproachfully. “Oh, Joho,” she pleaded, “what makes you do tty way?” “ You are—bic—so awful pretty—hic— he sald, matty an extravagant bow and kissing her, “that I like to—bic» ‘see you double.” And she put him tenderly to bed, bathed his forehesd te next morning and forgot about the scolding she had fay determined to administer to bim.—AM©lesourt Excelstor, For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britay national News Company, Bream’ London. £. C., England, AGENTS. ‘The Inter- Building, Chancery Lane, EUROPEAN AGENT3—Mesasp. Brentano, ST Avenue de l'Upera, Paris, Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s Ali! THE WILSON DISTILLING CO., Baltimore, Md ‘Works, Camden, ¥.J, STEEL PENS FSTERBROOKS <x 150 Varieties, For Sale by alt Stationers. THE ESTERBROOK STEEL PEN CO. 2 120 8, Sev tot Strong—durable—easy to write with—hard to use up. : There Is No Doubt... that people who have a regard for their stomachs prefer straight Whiskey, viz.: OLD The epicure calls for White Rock because it is clear, bright, mellow and refreshing ; because it has the CROW RYE A proper law enforced against adul- teration in foods and drinks would be good for the public. B. KIRK & CO., Sole Bottlers, N. Y. vim soa life of charged water with- out the bite and sting; because it keeps the intellect clear and the appetite keen. Your pats of Whita Rack wil be oeot aay ‘tore ia che Uekted feats, prepatl. opem Pe TFivvoiatiy tyr eater: Boel FRER- ‘Whito Rock Mineral Spring Company, Waukesha, Wis. comicbooks.com