Life, 1900-04-07 · page 5 of 32
Life — April 7, 1900 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page Analysis This page contains two separate satirical pieces from *Life* magazine about naming children. **Top section** ("The Rose Into the Tolly's ear"): Mocks the pretentious practice of giving children elaborate, classical names. The dialogue debates naming a son after classical figures (Augustus, Julius Caesar, Brutus) or biblical names (Moses, Abraham), with a character suggesting "Francis" as a sensible alternative. The illustrated woman appears exasperated by the affectation. **Bottom section** ("Of Course He Wasn't Vain"): Satirizes parents who name children after themselves or family members out of vanity rather than affection. A father insists naming his son "Jehiel" (matching his own name) is proper, despite the mother's objection. The humor lies in the father's self-deception about his motivations—he claims it's scriptural tradition while actually seeking to perpetuate his own name. Both pieces mock Victorian-era pretentiousness about child-naming.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Tho Rose Into the Tulip’s ear Murmured: * Tho Lily is a sight; * Don't you believe sho powders, dear, “Vo make berself so saintly white? “She takes some trouble, it is plain, * Her reputation to sustain.” Said Tulip to the Lily white: “ About the Rose—what do you think 7— “Her color? Should you say it’s quito— “Well, quite a natural shado of pink ?” “Natural! 1” the Lily cried: “ Good Saints! + Why, everybody knows she paints 1” Oliver Herfora, Of Course He Wasn't Vain. HEY had discussed the 4 T matter before, but the day of the christening was close at hand and they had not yet decided what they should call the baby “Of course,” he said, ‘it isn’t vanity that makes me want to call him by my own name—Jehiel—but it was the name borne by my father and by bis father before him.” “That's true, Jehiel, dear.” she replied, “and it’s a good Scripture name, but you yourself have often said it wasn’t very pretty. Why not call him after your Uncle John? He might remember baby in his will.” ‘John is too common, dear, and I never could abide the nickname ‘ Jack.’” “We might call him Andrew, after papa.” “IT don’t know what your parent has ever done for us that we should perpetuate his name “That's not at all kind of you, dear. You know I married you against papa's wishes. Suppose we don’t call him after anybody but just -LIFE* give hima nice, distinguished name —Reginald, for instance.” “Hu! Whoever heard of a Reginald that ever amounted to any- thing outside of a novel?” “How would Algernon do?” “Too fancy.” “*I think Leopold is anice name.” "Too Dutch.” “Dou't you pretty?" ‘Aha! And so you'd like to call my son after that google-eyed idiot you were engaged to before I met youl” “He isn't the only Walter in the world. Suppose we give him a classical name and call him Augus- tus.” “Why don’t you burden the poor child with Julius Casar, Brutus, Cassius, Pompeius, Sextus, and have done with it?” * Talways liked Franc “Too much like a girl “What do you think of David?” “Might just as well call bim Mosca, Isaac or Abrabam ” think Walter is / “OM, NURSE, WHAT SHALL 1 DOP 1 DROPPED MY PEND DOWN ITS WINDPIPE!"” 285 “Richard ?” “And have Dick ?” ‘*Oh, dear,—I can't think of any- thing else. Oh, yes!, Let's call him Aubrey. That's so unusual and ts so nice to pronounce.” “T never knew but one Aubrey and he borrowed ten dollars from me and never paid it back. Au- brey won't do.” “But I can't think of any more, Why don't you suggest some. thing?” “Tdid” “What?” “*Jehiel" And Jebiel it was. him nicknamed Metcalfe. iad [ae just got a terrible doctor's bill.” “What difference does it make. He cured you.” * But I wish he hadn't now.” “OH, Mae, did you see Mrs. O Giddie’s hat 7” “Why, of course I did. only five pews back of me.” She sat IN THE HATH-TUB, AND IT'S GONE comicbooks.com