Life — December 2, 1899 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE Greeting, N torms polite wo beg to 8T 1 We take no stofo by Luck or Fate. Wo gEt what wo desofRve, and so Wo Munch at crusts, or mabe go In Garriagos, which moan§& of course Eack] one’s entitlod to A horse That he has eaFRnod. To thoso that [jake A cheerful Chrjstmas, off wo Tako an ocean greshound for Europe, where they ale now spending a happy honeyAfoon. —--—o When Eliphalet Grigsby woke up on Christmas morning he could hardly believe his eyes. There in the chase was a beautifully illustrated Christmas story, already set and justified. He quickly threw together some display type and printed a quantity of dodgers, announcing that Ze Hamsburg Hewgag was not to be outdone by the great metropolitan dailies, and that the Christmas number, out that afternoon, wculd contain 8 special Christmas feature which no one could afford to miss. When the paper came out tuere was a tremendous demand for it, and the sale was so large that, for the first time in his life, Elipbalet Grigsby had turkey for his Christmas dinner. And that night the kindly types distributed themselves, 80 that Eliphalet would not have to work next day, and their | benevolent Christmas deed was accomplished, The Good Samaritan Grows Sarcastic. OOD SAMARITAN: May I see my friend Hardluk ! Hosritat SurGeon: On business or pleasure? “Oh, pleasure, purely pleasure, I came to gloat over him, to feast on his sufferings, and revel in his agonies.” Explained. T= CLERK: You ehould certainly wear pajamas, sir, if you wish to be smart No man of any pretensions would array himself in a common night shirt. CustomER: That accounts for it. “For what, sir?” “T have been wondering why some of my swell friends cut me.” €T)ON'T you think the engagement should be as binding as the marriage ?” “More 80, Look at the difference between the cost of the rings.” teen hundred and _ ninoty- Our hats, Hore’'S wishing you a wO XN Tom Masson. The Christmas Lover. JITTTIS love that makes the stars revolve; "Tis love that makes the world go round, This Christmas purpose I resolve On earth to make love more abound, On me, dear maid, thy love bestow, And match my full heart's overflow! Nor goms, nor goar to thoo I bring; Nor gauds, nor merchundizes raro. Love's offorings I may not sing, But love itself I have to sparo In boundless store, and all for thee, If but thy beart responds tome. yo yy,