Life — November 9, 1899 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

373 Abou [icKinley. BOU MeKinley (may his reign surceaso!) Awoke from a nightmare of mnemio peace, And saw within the moonlight of bis room, Making it rich and likoa lily in bloom, An angel writing in a bonk of fate. - Abou McKinley, curious, could not gm § “What writest thou?” Tho angel B smote his chest : & “The namos of thoso who servo their {country best.” Abou smiled long. “Mino can't bo 3 thero,” ald he. “Write mo as ono who serves tho 8 aor” 2 5 tho angel wroteand lowaway. Noxt night Ho came again with a great awaken- ing light, ¥ And sure enough, bis host had stood tho test; For lo! Abou McKinley's namo led all tho rest, None More So. ‘¢ TT beats the deuco, Ikenstein, how you Jews manage to beat us Christians.” “Dots nothing. Anybody hin doa Christian, But ut takes a smart Hebrew to do anudder Hebrew. Und der smartest man of all is der Hebrew what kin do his own brudder.” Railroad Grammar. “What was the next station?” “You mean what {s the next station.” “No. What was is, isn't it?” “That doesn't mike any dif- ference. Is is was, Lut was is not necessarily is.” “Look here; what was, fs, and what is, is. Is was is or is is was.” “Nonsense. Was may be is, but is is not was. Is was was, but if was was is, then is isn't is or was wasn’t was. If was is, was is was, isn't it? But if is is was then—" Listen, Is ix, was was, and is was and was is ; therefore is was is and was is was, and if was was is, and was was was und is is SPECIAL ORDER No. $98,645,731,246 Stock Train No. 7 and Circus Train No, 11 will side-track for Dewey Special, which has right of way over all trains. * Shut up, will you! I've gone by my station already.”