Life — November 2, 1899 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC. SAGITTAKICS — NOVEMBER, An Overworked Administration. HE HOST (of Washington, D. C.): Well, what would you like to do to-day ? Tue Guest: 1 believe I'd like to sce the President, if it isn't too much trouble, . Host: Sorry, old man, but I’m afraid it is; he’s out West defend- ing his policy. Guest: Well; then, I'd like to shake hands with the Secretary of State, Host: Too bad, but he’s in Ohio making campaign speeches. Guest: Well, the Secretary of War? Surely he ought to be on hand. Host: He's in Nebraska whooping it up for the party. Guest: The Secretary of the Navy ? Host: He's giving prosperity a boost in Kansas. 353 Guest: The Attorney-General? Host: He's out in Kentucky, blazing a trail to victory. Guest: ‘The Postmaster Gencral ? Host: He's addressing the males of Penn- sylvania, Guest: The Secretary of Agriculture? Host; He's away too, somewheres, cul- tivating party loyalty. Guest: Well, the Secretary of the Interior? Host: That's where he is, in the interior some place, inspiring patriotism in the people. Guest (sarcastically): Huh! Well, say, let’s run up and get a look at the janitor of the White House. I'm bound to see a member of this Administration, and I suppose his duties keep him here, anyways, Host: Jt is too bad, old man, and I’m awfully sorry, but he's been so overworked lately that he's gone off fora week's fishing. . Alex, Ricketts, Polite. EAD WAITER: Shall I send a waiter to wait on you, sir? Guest (who has been waiting in vain for thirty minutes): I am compelled to request this extreme privilege, even though I know it disturbs your system. E who takes the sword shall perish by the sword, and the President who works a war for political capital is liable to be displaced by a martial hero. STUDIES IN NATURAL HISTORY, A KING FISHER, books.com