Life — October 26, 1899 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ts V ELL, well! Whois it?” “George Dewey.” “Oh, it’s you, is it, Admiral? Glad to hear you, This is the first time Lire has had an opportunity to express to you personally |:is sentiments of high esterm and sincere admiration. Glad you called us up; we want to talk to you about the Presidency.” “Why? Idon't waot it. Iam very comfortable as I am.” “Tush, tush, Admiral, That doesn't sound like you, That's what the politicians say who are afraid you may accept. Do you remember that time just before Manila Buy? You were very comfortable in your bunk, but you got up and did some- thing to the Spaniards, didn't you? You were comfortable then, What did you get up for?” “Tt was my duty “Of course it was, And iv’s your duty now to get out of your comfortable berth and do something to some other enemies of your country.” “What enemics?” “The corrupt syndicate of politicians who are using the Republican party for their own profit and the assca of the Democratic party who would run our business interests on to the financial rocks if they could.” “But why not re-elect Major McKinley? Some of the Republican newspapers say that he is a good, noble, able and patriotic President, and that he has the confidence of the business community * To besure he has the confidence of the business community as against Bryan and the Silverites, He is essentially the candidate of the pockets of the people as well as of the Repnblican Syndicate. But it seems to us that the rank and file of the Republican party—with which Lire marches shoulder to shoulder in the cause of patriotism and good government — Is entitled to a candidate who can claim some- thing more for himself than that he won't imperil the business interests of the country, Doesn’t that seem reasonable?” “Ye—c—s. But there are other good Republicans who would be something more than pocket-book candidates.” “Certainly. But the Syndicate, of which the great and good McKinley is the agent, has the party machine so thoroughly steel-riveted and standard-oiled that you are the only man who can take the nomination away from them. That's why Lire says its your duty to take it and the consequent election.” * But Tam too old a sea-dog to learn new land tricks.” “See here, Admiral George; please don't talk nonsense to your Uncle Lire. Don’t you suppose your foreign experience and your long’ residence in Washington equips you as well fot the Presidency as does the career of any country politician that ever came out of Obie?” * But [ don't know anything about politics.” THE MAN WITH A HOR. “So much the better! We don’t want a president of the politicians, or of a party ; we want a President of the People —one who won't consider the division of patronage the must important function of his high office.” “Well, Lire—" . “Never mind answering now. Think it over for a little whfle and give the people a chance to get acquainted with your attractive personality.” ‘Excuse me; I'm no hand shaker, and I don't want to travel around the country trying to gain votes.” “That's another reason why you remind us of The Great Vacationer — you're so different. Ring off, please.” “*Good-by, Lire.” “* Au revoir, Admiral, and God bless you.” Oh, Naughty! - New Yorkers always look with much tnterest at Baltimore, as it 8 from that delightful old Southern city that so many of the great Leautles of re Ix represented by Mra. I ttnacted moch more than Miss Mortel Wilson, Mrs. Frederic Hhard. and Mi Lee Taller, to say nothing of the older set of matrons headed by Mrs. Town- oat Kurden, Mrs. Brockbolst Cuttlog, and Mrs. Willam Rhinelander stewart, H, you naughty society reporter! How unnccessary it was to say thai! Have you no regard for the feelings of Miss Muricl Wilson and the others? Ob, naughty, naughty ! And don't you koow that the first und only duty of a society reporter is to make everything pleasaot for everybody? ‘The one purpose of your manly calling is that women of wealth may see their vames in print. What pleasure is given when their names are uscd for heartless comparisons? Oh, naughty, naughty ! comicbooks.com