Life — September 28, 1899 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFE: ‘ow, Saxry,"" began the teacher, “I want you to tell me tn which latte Lord Nelson was killed.”* Sammy was In despair, tut he must prove himself equal to the emergency. Did you say Lord Nelson?” he asked, cautiously. “y * Which battle?" + Yes; In which hattle was he killed?” . with apparent surprise at such an | ust er been Nis last.” —Spare Moments, I *apecs tt AN EXCURSION {nto the country, out camping, fiahing, or Just a plente, will be Incomplete tn ontht unless supplied with Gail Borden Fagle Lrand Condensed Milk. In tea, coffee, and many summer beverages, It Is delicious, Don't buy unknown brands. Ciinese Premtien: [see that the Province of Wing Wang ylelds no revent CHINESE SI CRETARY OF TRRASUKY: Yes, the people are very poor; the land tx Worthless and the harbors are filing up with T know not w Jo with Wing Wang. “Nothing eade ody kill & misstonary there, and 1 nt will take Wing Wang for an Indemnlty."—Boston Trans ript. Fox Morhid Conditions take Beecham’s Pills, Caco Jepar: You testify that What dit he d Mus, West: Refused to let me wear a décolleté costume and thy diamond necklace to the circus. Jewelers! Weekly. ur husband was cruel “Were there no servants in the Intelligence oMce?” asked the wife. © It was full of “em,” returned the Jonely husband, “ but they had all worked for us before."— Youth's Companion, Bit: Whats that fellow trying to prove by rocking the boat? JILL: That the fools are not all dead yet, — Yonkers Statesman, THE HOTEL * THORNDIKE,” BOSTON, opp, the Public Gardens Has comfortable, alry rooms, thoroughly equipped, and modern detalls in every respect. European plan, A STROLLER on the Dench of a Massachusetts seaport overheard the opening remarks of a farmer and his wife who had come from northern New Hampsbire, as he subsequently ed from thelr conversation. Well, I feel to be glad we've come, Willlam,” sald the woman, with a sigh of pleas turning fro her spouse * Would you ever have belleved there was such sight of water Iu one place In this world? ldn't,”* returned Wiillam, “And when you n't see any but what's on top, It's all the stoulshin’, Sarah, now ain'tity —Youth's Companion, What ts Purity? Cook's Imperial Champagne Extra Dry, Its tnade of pure grape Jutce, Naturally fermented. Guest: There ts no fire-escape tn this room, LaNpLonp GoLpstein: Vell, It's a brandt-new hotel; tt 1s not lnzured; peeziess vas goot, Vot more do you want? —Boston Beacon, Wuex Adam got tired namin; “Let all the rest be called Smith.’ his descendants he sald: star of Hope. HOTEL VENOOME, BOSTON, ‘The Ideal hotel of America for permanent or transtent guests, YouNe Doctor: Congratulate me, old man. paring to vistt my frst patient, YOUNG Lawyer: Good! Til go with you. hasn't made his will.—Chicago News. I'm Just pre- Perhaps he Ir {a diMcult for the belated clubman to realize that the towering female who stands at the head of the stairs Is the timid little girl who once fainted tn his arms at the sight of a mouse.—Ercnanye, ‘Tie Main: T do see by tho papers that Mra, Astorbiit hey bought # thirty.thousand-doliar set av dishes, Tug ScULLION: Ah, d heaven to git Into a kitchen like that for five minutes! Harper's Magazine, the sen to face | rah dear, wouldn't It be just W.&J. Sloane We invite the attention of lovers of fine | Rugs to our notable autumn display of Oriental Rugs The richest and most comprehensive assort- ment ever offered in this country. It includes rare specimens in every recognized weave and in most desirable sizes, and many in sizes hitherto unobtainable. Our facilities Sor obtaining rugs of the rarest quality and color are absolutely unequalled. Broadway & 19th St. Colfers, and all who Walk or Stand Much Use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE A Powder for the Feet. Shake Into Your Shoes Allen's Foot=Ease, jer for the co amarting. Setot sores und bocione, Lt'e Che qareat: fort discovery of the age. oot Ease makes tight-Btting oF oes fool easy. Atis acertain cure for Sweating, callous and burning, tired, pay foc Wahsreoversitostimontals. Tit MANS, Baa by al ideo, rate and ‘om. Seat by mall forsheria stamps. ‘tomas FREE ont asd ALLEN S. OLMSTED, Le N.Y. (Mention thie magazine). New York: Brooklyn: on: Hoston:. Philadeiphia: den Chestnut 8 hy most Durable | of WritingiMach ao i amans Wore nS coun ay, |New Yor! Wah A Straight Whiskey, with no admixtures, Kentucky Hand-made Sour Mash OLD CROW RYE has never been equaled. NEW YORK. micbooks.com