Life — August 31, 1899 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tene was an auction sale in the little house, and one after another the widow's few possessions fell beneath the hammer. Presently the auctloneer took up a large bowl which happened to be full of sugar, and the poor woman, anxtous to save {ts contents, hastened into the next room to find something In which to put them. Just as she returned the auctioneer cried, “Sold!” and the purchaser insisted that the sugar was his, The widow pleaded for the little that was much to her, but the man was obdurate, and murmurs of indignation arose from the crowd, Angry at this demonstration, the man turned, and his eye rested ou Henry A. Wise, “Mr, Wise,” said he, “you are a lawyer. Am I right or nott Ifyou say am not, I will give back the sugar. If you say fam, Iam entitled to tt, and I'll keep It." “ My friend,” replied Wise, in his gentlest tone, “you pat a delicate and unpleasant responsthility on me. Hadn't you better decide the matter for yourself #” “ replied the fellow, curtly. “I know what your opinion Is going to he, and 1 want you to give {t so that thls whole cre can hear it.” “Then,” sald Wise, “I advise you that the sugar ts youra, ‘The widow cannot take It from you, She has no redress.” Aha!” erled the man, turuing to the spectators. What did I tell yout thundered Wise, whose + I've advised you at your persistent request, as 1 can prove by these people. It remains for me to tell you that | charge you five dottars for my advice, and I demand immediate pay- ment. Ifyou trifle with me inthe matter of payment, you will most certainly regret It.” ‘The man turned scarlet, und, fambling tn his wallet, pro- duced a five-dollar blll, The crowd yelled its approval, but ner at once changed, suddenly became silent as Mr. Wise walked up to the widow and sald : “This money ts mine, I have earned It honestly. Take {tand buy more sugar for your fatherless children.”* — Youth's Companion. Ove of the lawyers says that # cllent of his ts the hero of this story and that It happened here within a year or two. A man from the assessor's office went into the store of a Hebrew merchant in the pursult of bis duties. The two had a slight acquaintance, so that the assistant assessor did not think It necessary to explain bis business. He was rather surprised when, in answer to bis questions, the storekeeper proceeded to dilate on the vaiue of his stock. “De finest in Any store of de size Inde city. It tssu't vort’ a cent less than $5,000," “Suppose I put it down at that, then,"" sald the assessor's man, “Dott. Do tt,” sald the proprietor. “Yer vont maig no mistake.” So the assessor's man did It. There was lamen- tation In the store when the tax bill showed the proprietor that he wax taxed on $5,000 personal, and he rushed over to the assessor's ofice with all possible speed. “Vat iss dis? Vat ls dis?" he asked them excitedly. I have no personal but de stock in my store. I'm a Har if It's vort’ $400. Come down and look It ofer.” They tcld bim that the records showed that he had given the figure to the assistant assessor. His hands went up over bis head in horror, “My goodness, my goodness!” he shouted. “ Vas dat your man? 1 thought he vas from Hradstreet's.” —Worcester Gazette, Warcea pun Js not the highest form of wit, the world would be much poorer Jacking some of the puns of Shake- speare, Lamb, Macaulay and Sidney Smith. One of tte famous of American punsters, now an old, bevt maz, stil be seen occasionally about the streets of New jy; Willtam E. Evarts, Secretary of State under President Rup made perhaps his best and his worst puns from rat! forms while traveling with the Presidential party, They had ascended Mount Washington by the steepaa road, and other tourists, gathered there from all parts ct country, called for a speech, * We are not stra Mr. Evarts, gentally, “We have all been bora und up here.” Atanother thme, when traveling through Tennessee, Evarts latd a wager with the young people of the pary he could make ® pun upon each town through whicd 9 should pass. As they renched Chattanooga the em clamored for a speech. Mr. Evurts pleaded that as the would stop but a moment, he could onty make 4 tm Chattanoogatory remarks! ‘The unexpected element which characterizes a pos marked in all the wit of Rufus Choate, “I can’t eodare Ls he once exclalined of another famous Bostonian, “1s uot care {f I should never see him again.” Theo, bute morsefally, “ Well, I should not care If 1 should see bia a procession.”"— Youth's Companion, “GoopNess! We'll miss the opera,” she sald, tently; “we've been waiting @ good many minutes fe mother of min “Hours, I should say,” he replied, somewhat ac ously. “Ours?” erted she, rapturously, “Ob, George, ts 80 sudden!" Then she fell upon his neck. —Standard faa national Newa Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, Agents. Established 1823. WILSON WHISKEY. That’s All! THB WILSON DISTILLING CO. Baltimore Md. For sale by all Newsdealers In Great Britain. The Inter- ECUOPEAN AGENTS—Mesars. Brestars, 81 Avenue dei'Opera, Paris. |Gentlemen Ly ened and WUNTER BounD VOLUME XXXIII. LIF E NOW READY FOR DELIVERY. Five hundred and sixty pages of text and illustrations, somely bound in green and gold, red and gold, or full black. Price, $4.00. The any library. If you have the numbers comprising this volume, we will exchange them for the bound volume for $2.00, Life Publishing Company, 19 West Sst Street, N. Y. bound volume of LIFE is an ornament to Batimore Rie 4 LANAWANG SON BALTIMORE How many of us have been comforted, strength- consoled) through mafly years by the temperate use of a Pure Whiskey HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE Is the Purest Type The wear and tear of business lifemakes the moderate use of such a stimulant almost a necessity, Sold at all First-Class Cafes and by Jobbers, WM. 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