Life — August 31, 1899 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HISTORICAL BITS. Judge: Same. Prisoner: JOUN suiTH. Mamma: WHY, WILLE! GIVES YOU A CENT? “GEE! I'M TOO S'PRISED TO SAY ANYTHING." WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN UNCLE SKINFLINT Ik. “HUH! asSUMED. WHAT'S YOCR REAL NAME?" T has been in some respects a lively summer for the news- papers of New York. The newsboys’ strike has embarrassed the World and the Journal more or less in their efforts to place their wares before the public; the Sun has had a printers’ strike on its hands, and the fend between the Sun and the Zerald—which smoulders sometimes, but never dies—has been blazing out with unusual fury. Itis odd with how much ardor these contemporaries assail one another, For many years they lived on terms of amicable toleration; but they fell out—was it not over some detail of news gathcring?—and since then there has been nothing too deplorable for either to believe of the other, Well, well! War is a lamentable business, but if news- papers must have it, it is far more satisfactory to have them wage it on their own account, and at their own cost, than to stir it up between nations, One-Sided. “WHEN I began my spring fishing,” said Colonel Spicer, «Twas actuated by a brilliant idea, and I called upon an enterprising fishermau with whom I bad done some business on former occasions. I said to him: ‘ Every time I go fishing this season and don’t catch anything, I will buy enough from you to exhibit and eat. Butevery time I catch more than [ want I will bring them in, and you can give me credit for them.’ Thus I was enabled to always have good luck.” “ How did you come out at the end of the season ?” asked Major Juniper. “* Well,” said the Colonel, ‘I just got a note from the fisher- man, saying he was going to place the account io the bands of a lawyer.