Life — June 8, 1899 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SHERLOCK'S AT MOMES—THE TRUNNIMOCTSEE CASE. 1 had dropped tn at my friend Sherlock's rooms to borrow A couple of Lottles of Ink, as we were expecting company that night, and there was No one wits Visiile when | first entered the apartment, although a fire was Durning brightly on the bearth, but as soou as 1 closed the door one of the bronze owls which served as an andiron arose, moulted Its metailic feathers, and grasped me cordially by the band. pne in the house, ** sald Shertock, ‘this 1s Indeed an un- t Hititupskt and Baron Walkitot have been looking e all day, and as tam sure, by the formation of thelr silk hats, that they have «1x-tnch napld- fire guns concealed on thelr persons, Ihave Leen forced to assume this disguise,” “And If they found yout” Lasked. + It would not be so serious,” he sald, “for | have soaped my undershirt so that {t will sted projectiles, and am wearing four inches of armor plate beneath that, But I have much valuabte brie-a-bnie that might be dainaged by promiscuous Lombardinent, and there 1s no harm tn being on the safe ald + What ts the Count’s trouble?" I asked. “ Batson,” he sald, thoughtfully, “do you know what the Czar tn his coffee this morning? "* What?” sald 1. “alt a peck of broken gliss, three Mauser shells and seven ounces of sulphuric acid. There wits also a roll of larhed wire, cleverly disguised as a chop, and three pounds of nitre-glycerine In the form of a banana, “This would indicate that there Is somebody who Is not for the Czar, would It nott” I risked. “My dear boy, sou are learning the game wonderfully Jo by all Newadealers tn Great Britain. ‘The Inter- jews Company, Hream's Bullding, Chancery Lane, England, AGENTS. EGGERS, AT WL fast,” sald Shertock, rolling a pinch of camphor into a ciga- Fette with the skill born of long practice. * Aud now I will tell you how we have foliowed this thing up. At my sugges- tion, the Czar never retires without placing @ rocking-chatr and # recording gramoptone tn the front hall. This morning the rocking-chatr was found shot through the groin, and the gramophone on betng reversed rendered the sound of pistol shots, and the expletive ‘Tehuk!? I at once cauxed every suspect In Loudon to walk down a darkened alley way In which was a coal scuttle, while L observed thelr movements, Tue result was elght hundred and sixty-three ‘dans,’ six hundred and four * hells," elght + pxhaws’ and two * tchuks.’ “And you Immediately arrested the * teh ™ Lente “Not so fast, my dear Matson,” sald Sherlock ; there Wight be a third *tchuk, you know. 1 was well aware that these men were accustomed to meet nightly at the house of a nan called Trunnimoutskl, where It was thelr custom to sing the Russtan national alr, ‘Ack der Ueber Weinberg. 80 1 arranged a serles of bombs tu the plano, which will go off for that air and no other. [am now waiting.” Almost as he spoke there was a terrific shock, and the alr wits filled with fying paving stoves, chimneys and stone walls, with here and there an omnibus or a savings bank, Sherlock sprang to the register and listened « moment intently. “ Allover," sald he, ‘Wil you have yours in the form of a bightall, or stralght, with a chaser? "—Yae Record. Burr Hane ts 60 frequently complimented as the author of * Little Breeches,” that he ls almost as sorry It Was ever written as Is Colovel John Hay, who would prefer his fame to rest ou more ambitious work. A gushing hudy, who prided herself upon her Hterary tastes, sald to him once! * My dear Mr, Harte, [um so delighted to meet you. 1 have read every” thing you ever wrote, but of all your dialect verse there ts none that compares to your * Little Breeches.’ ” “1 quite agree with you, madame,” sald Mr, Harte, “ bot you have put the little breeches on the wrong man." Argonaut, A neceNT discussion at a dinner table, whether * gotte or “ot * were the preferable participte, recelved a practical solution, at least for the telegraphic service, from the expert ence related of @ college professor who preferred * gotten,* He had telegraphed to bis wife, some miles uptown, “1 have gotten tickets for the opera to-night; meet me there." The telegraph operator rendered this toto, “1 have got tea tickets,” etc. Mra. Professor was delighted with the oppor. tuntty of eutertatuing her friends, and accordingly made party of elght besides herself, whose greetings to the pro- fexsor at the rendezvous were perhaps more cordial than his feelings until things were explained. —Boston Home Journal, Yeans ago Joaquin Miller was journeying on foot, and was overtaken by an honest countryman, who took hin upoa his loaded wagon and gave him a jong ride, Tired. ut length, of conversation, the poet took & novel from bis pocket, aud pored over It long and silently. “What are you reading +" sald the countryman, * A novel of Bret Harte's," sald Mr. Miller. “Well, now, I don't see how an tmmortal being wants to be wasting hls thme with such tu “Are you quite sure,” sald the poet, * that Tam an tm. mortal being?” “Of course you are." “If that be the case,” responded Miller, “I don’t sce why I should be s0 very economical of my time.” Pittsburg Bulletin, FCROPEAN AGENTS—Messrs. Brentano, 37 Avenue del'Upera, Patis. 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