Life — June 1, 1899 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT a dinner, not long ago, someone asked the ex-Prime Minister wiat memory was. “ Memory," replied Lord Rosebery, “1s the feeling ant steals over us when we Ilsten to our friends’ original stortes."* Exchange. plece, and he man was a It was rather a small complatner by nature, “ Here's another of these problems which confront us at every turn,” he sald. “1 cant make up my mind whether that ought to be called a plece of strawberry khortcake or a short plece of strawberry cake.""— Washington Star. LARUTENANT (lo his orderly): Bring me & beefsteak and poached egg. ORDERLY: Excuse me, Neutenant, but haven't you forgot- ten that you are to dine to-night at Countexs Pampastis t “That's so! [had forgotten it. Bring me two beefsteaks and two poached eggs.""—Der Fioh, “AM, you do not know how hard {t 1s to lose one's wife."* “Hard! My dear atr, {t's simply tmposatble."* —Exchange. “Ciara Jang,” sald the returned soldier, whose heart was beating tumultuously, “you must pardon me if, 10 my confusion, I gave you the military salute when I came tn. “But you didn't, Oscar," xuyly replled the maiden, who had formed a crude {dea of the military salute from what she had read about Hobson,—Chicago Tribune, ‘Oxce upon a time an American taunted an Englishman, “How can you endure to be taxed to support your idle nobility?” exclatmed, the American warmly, Then the American paid $10 ton for his coa! In order that the directors Of the trust might procure dukes and things far sons-tn-law. ‘This fable teaches that there are almost as many ways of paying taxes as of dodging the same.— Detroit Journal, “Masory,” said Pickaninny Jim, “I's gwinter be one er dese bypnotizers.”* “ What's dem?" “Yoh look somebody in de eye, an’ he des nach"ly goes ter sleep.” “Well, don’t you go was‘in' yoh time, Dan's sleepfulness “nuff in dis here wort’ an —" she paused suddenly, and after ® moment of thought added Jimmy, does yoh *magine you could do dat to a chickin'?"— Washington Star. Lory Neto once sent his coxswain with a note to Lady Hamtiton, with orders to wait for a reply. When her ladyship bad read tt, she sa’d to the sallor: ‘1 suppose I shall have to give Nelson # coxswain a drink. What shall it be—a pot of beer, a glass of grog or a drop of punch?” Bless your ladyship !" said Jack, “I ain't a bit particu- lar, I'll take the beer now, and I can be drinking the grog while your ladyship's mixing the punch for me." —Exchange, THE VERDICT OF THE ‘ALL. James: ‘ow Do 1 KNOW aut AIN'T A LADY? ‘cos saE’ EVERLASTING BLOGIN’ OF MY FARDON.—Moonshine, ares MIeMise GR ei at wi as imi am) ee) om sant as /® ® e @6¢ WILLiAms’ SOAPS SOLD RVERYWHERE, BUT SENT BY MAIL 17 YOUR DEALER DOES NOT SUPPLY YOU. Williams’ Shaving Stick, . . 25 cents. Genuine Yankee Shaving Sap, 10cents. Luxury Shaving Tablet,. .': 25 cents. Williains’ shaving Soap (Barbers Six Round Cakes, 11b, . . . . 40cents. Exquisite alsofortoilet.’ Trialcake for ac.stamp. ‘TheJ.B. WILLIAMSCO.,Glastonbury,Conn. LOMOON 04 GAEAT MUBBELL.GT., W.C STOREY: 101 CLARENCE OT, ‘The disease yields easily WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. fe tae, Desble Chloris BUFFALO, + N.Y. ure Kered ‘ar thew ELEY LEXINGTON, MAGS. insrrrutes: | Commun, PROVIDENCE, RB. I. fox parcculars am — Drug Using. { Alcohol, ; mC eeley Icohol, Opium i a AS § A 9 <A 6 WEST HAVEN, CONN. 'N order to properly preserve your papers so that you can exchange them for the dound volumes, you should have a ' LIFE BINDER We furnish these in black or red, to hold 26 numbers, for $1.00, postage prepaid LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY 19 West 31st Street, New York