Life — June 1, 1899 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“ Dap,” sald the youthful Billviliian,“thar sa big rattlesnake under the bed!" “All right,” sald the old man, composediy, “Jest let him stay thar—kaze ef you pester him he'll spring hls ratte ant wake yer mammy up, an’ then thar'll be the devil to pay !"" Atlanta Constitution, Is west for any baby, but after that comes Gall Borden Fagle Brand Condensed Milk for young tifants. Thousands of letters wed telling of Its successful use. Look *Babtes” sent free. Borde 1 Milk Co, N.Y. re rec "8 Com f to Georgia from Cuba . became Involved fn a whom he referred to as ‘A NraKo who recently came 0} and speaks English, but tinper quarrel with a native colored cltize an “African. “Tank de Lawd,” replted the Georgia negro, “ef 11s AmMkin, L ain't no Spat 1p what's mo’, Lain't no dam black Philistine [kin speak Nunited States—t kin!!”—£zchange. et “The trouble with the Engilah ts that they can't see a Joke.” The trouble 1s that they don't know one when Hareard Lampoun, THE HOTEL * THORNDIK Is most comfortable, plan, Penwars Editor Peffer can even up things for bis ten dollar & week salary by following up the example of that colored pastor down in ole Virgiiny, who told the Northern tourist that he preached every Sunday for afty cents. “ That's dam poor pay," said the Northerner. “Yes,” replied the colored brother, “an’ {t's darn poor preach." —Cleveland Plain Dealer. " BOSTON, opp the Public Gardens. thoroughly equipped. European “Sonny,” aatd Cel Dey tells you dar's books In th ‘magine you's gwinter git you nen, look out fol deshere proverbs. runnin’ brooks, but don't you cation going In swimming.” Mus. Stites: I shall never invite Mr. Funntman to dinner again. Mux. StiLes: Why not? He isa very entertaning chap, “That's Just it, He tells su ny stories that he makes the butler laugh.""—Harper’s B ALWAYS have @ bottle or two of Cook's Impertal Extra Dry Champagne In your tce chest ; then you will always be ready for callers, ay AT a recent fashtonable wedding, a Colonel of volunteers very efficten A doctor who noticed the other s zeal, remarked : “You are major-domo, I see.” “Colonel domo, if you please n Pranctsco News-Letter, Bercuan's Pits cure Sick Headache, “1 want fo tell yo", my dear brethren,” sald Deacon Jobnsing to his flock at prayer meeting,“ dat in dese days of chainlexs Uikes, hossless kerridges, ant ich, what we need fo" de glorification of de cullud folkxes ‘am pktckentess coopa, razzeriexa panties, melonless patches, ys crapless gumes. Does yo! follow me?" —Harper's Bazar. HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. Commonwealth Avenue, Electric Lights. New and most approved plumbing. Sux: Do you remember how you sald, when you were courting me, that if | would marry you I would have nothing to do all iny days but sit around aud look pretty? And how j diferent tt ts He: Well, it ain't my fault 1f you can’t look pretty any more.—Indianapolis Journal. AT an assemblage of noted men a year or two ago, a lawyer who conducts the legal business of a great nullway system tried to “guy Bishop Willams” by malicious quizzing. At jast he sald, “Why don’t you get these railway managers to give you a pass over thelr roads, Bishop? You can pay for tt by giving them entrance tickets inte Reaven.” * Oh, no," gently replied the Btshop; “1 would not part them ‘80 far from thelr counsel tu the other world." ‘The laugh was general, and the lawyer concluded to “tet the parson alone."— Youth's Companio (Shade Worit Work- Because it tsn't mounted on THE IMPROVED i HARTSHORN SHADE ROLLER. A perfect article. No t quired. Notice name op when your cusasc, Asaselfappolnted master of ceremonles. | MERSHON & MORLEY, MANUFACTURERS OF PORTABLE CHILDREN’S PLAY HOUSES, HUNTERS’ CABINS AND SUMMER COTTAGES, SAGINAW, MICH. Lxooilk ile md! wear better, a yard If you would enjoy LIFE to its fullest extent, ridea Genuine Buuwn Saddle azd-msdo and Perfect {2 Shape. Becklot Free. THE BROWN SADDLE CO., ELYRIA, OHIO. SCOTLAND'S BEST. RODERICK DHU M. F. Frame, Sole Agent, 11 Broadway, N. Y. HE two or more extra inches of resiliency that the Stearns’s Cushion Frame Bicycle gives, make a great difference in the com- fort experienced by the rider. “The Wheel of Comfort” describes it. E. C. STEARNS & COMPANY, SYRACUSE, N. Y.