Life — March 23, 1899 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

two, The name d’Artagnan is tou much for tho Ameri- can stage in its present condition of culture. It would simplify matters if, wherever it 1s necessary to speak of the hero, ho should be mentioned only as “ Mr. D.” . . . 00” isa word, we aro told by the Lon- don cables, that is very effectively used by English audiences to express their disapproval of bad plays and bad act- ing. We havo certainly got to import that, or something similar, to counter- act the effect of the idiotic, pald applaud- ora so much In evideace at first performances in this country. They delay the action, annoy their neighbors, frequently spoil effective scenes, and often create in the breasts of disinterested spectators a fecling of resent- ment that works against the success of the production, There used to be a saying about the courage requisite to say “Boo!” to a goose, It would be to the benefit of our stage if Americans only had the courage to say * Boo!" to bad acting and bad plays. Metcalfe, ITTLE ELMER; Papa, what is a colonel? Proresson Broapugap: A colonel, my son, is usually a large man, with the courtly manners of a Crown Prince, and the stomach of a common, every- day camel. M® ALGER—who, by the way, is still Secre- tary of War in President McKinley’s Cabinet —informs Lire that the embalmed beef came high, but the soldiers bad to have it. At Eastertide. HROUGH dull Lenten days she has wondered At the folly and falsehood of life, ao And questions she daily has pondered That with deepest religion aro rifo, She has listened to sermons quite stunning, And hasall theCommandments down pat, When sho walks into church with a cunning, Dead bird on her new Easter hat SSS Crcle Samuel: 1 PERL SO SORRY FOR THOSE POOR FILIPINOS. 1 THINK 1 SHALL HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM, TOO. DR. RAINSFORD, HIS is the reverend athlete who is finding fault with cer. tain persons because they fail to observe the Sabbath according to his own convictions, There are those who retort that a parson who spends a portion of his time killing birds is not a proper person to sit in judgment on such affairs. The slaughter and mutilation of unarmed birds may prove no logical relation to the case, and Lire withbolds his verdict until the feathered coutingent is heard from. Appearances Are Deceitful. “ Ge me a room with a bath and send up a box of soap.” It was in a small city in Oblo, and the stranger, who had come In on the last train, as he spoke threw down the pen where he had been inscribing his name on the hotel register. ‘The clerk gazed at his black face and bis begrimed clothes, and stoiled a haughty stnile, “We do not serve coal mifers in this hous he sald, sternly. “Young man,” repited the total stranger, “T ain not a coal miner, a minstrel, a chim- ney sweep or a charcoal burner. J am a millionaire in distress, and 1 have Just passed through a snowstorm tn Chicago.” “ OULD I were a bird!"she murmured. And be murmured, ‘ Would I were a cold bottle!” comicbooks.com