Life — December 15, 1898 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sour time ago, writes # vowunteer, t spent a week with garrison battery in south coast fort. On the last day the sergeants sat down to an exceptionally fine dinner, the crowning glory of which was a large plum pndding. 1 had made the pudding two days before, had ft bolled, and now, re-heated, It made its appeanunce amid the welcome shouts of my brother warrlors, and I naturally felt @ bit proud of It, for | hadn't been a ship's cook for nothing. “Seems mighty hard,” remarked the Sergeant-Major, as he vainly tried to stick his fork into It. “Have you Lolled us @ cannon ball, Browney ?"” “Or the regimental football” asked another, “Where did you get the flour from?" questioned Ser- geant Smith, “Where from?" 1 retorted. course."* “The deuce you did!” roared the Quartermaster-Ser- geant. “Then, hang you, you've made the pudding with Portland cement!" And so It proved. ‘That pudding 1s now preserved In the battery museum.— Pittsburg Bulletin, “From store No, 5 CHANG YeN Hoox, former Minister from China at Wash- fogton, has had his head In danger of separation from his shoulders because of bis association with the “ splrator,” Kang Yo Wel, Mr. Chang and af eminent § sonlan sclentist were once discussing the advantages of China over the United States. Finally Mr. Chang sald, “We bave a larger populatton. “ Leannot see the advantage of that," the other respon “if you cannot feed them. Think, too, how such over- crowding breeds Ill health. Why, you have the leprosy In China.” * But you—you,” returned the Minister, Jubllantly, “ you have the newspapers in the United States.”"—Exchange. Soon after the troops reached the Presidio, Private Patrick McGinty went to headquarters and asked for @ two weeks' leave of alsence, Its Colonel did not belleve tn granting furloughs; but Pat was a good soldier, and he was allowed to present his request.“ Me wolfe ts ve-r-ry sick an’ wants me home, an’ the childer ts all sick, an’ sure, it's the divil bimself wull take them all wan day,” sald Pat, with tears In his eyes, “onless ye're 80 kind as to let me off."” The Colonel eyed him for # few minutes. “ Patrick,” be sald, “I'd let you go with pleasure; but | had a letter from your wife iia morning In which abe sald she didn’t want you home, and hoped I wouldn't let you have any more fur- lougtis.” * Did she say that, Colonel * Yes, Patrick; she sald yon always got drank when you went home, and made the children cry.” “Then I can’t have my furlough?" + No; mn afrald not.” Pat eyed the Colonel for a few moments, and then sald: “Colonel, I'm an awfal Hart? “I'm glad to have you udmit 1t," sald the Colonel. “1 thonght you were stretching the facts In the case. It's always best to speak the trath.”” « Yes,” replied Pat; ‘sure, an’ I see It now, any wife atall, at atl.” Pat got his furlough.— Argonaut. I niver had ‘A sory Is told of aJudge who could not control his tem- per, and so could not control other people. One day there was unusual disorder in the courtroom, and at last the Judge could endure {t uo longer. “It Is impossible to allow this peratstent contempt of court to go on,” he exclatmed, “and I shall be forced to go to the extreme length of taking the one step that will stop It!’ There was a long sllence, then one of the leading counsel rose, and with Just a trace of a For sale b} national New: London, E. C., England, AGENTS. XMAS GIFTS, jh Numerous Inexpensive Artistic Articles in Silver and Silver-Mounted ad 1 Newsdealera in Great Britain, ‘The Inter- company, Mream's Building, Chancery Lane, papers. TAMPER AND BROTHERS: NEW YORK AND LONDON, Tira asia, By Sven Hedin. Two volumes. Ilustrated. The Forbidden Land. 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Fico: The ambulance, I guess, —Indianapotis Journal. EUROPEAN AGeNTS—Messra. Brentano, ST Avenue de l'Upera, Paris, or others should be printed on Whiting’s Then one is sure to be correct. Tell your stationer to give you Whiting’s Paper. He has it or can get it. WHITING PAPER COPIPANY, 148-152 Duane Street, New York. OPP. THE THORNDIKE *°tcss** PUBLIC CARDEN, Luggage Delivered Free (fr. N. Y., N.H. & H.R. R.). (BOSTON) USED BY THE BEST PEOPLE. The Best Whiskey in America. Gold at all First-class Cafes azd ty Jobbers. § Every Evening at 8:10, Mere DALY'S] ssrisieshst iene) WE Mats. Wednesday and Saturday at 2, P AY Large Assortment, of Fancy Boxes jogo Baskets. e63 Broadway, packed oa pei andies will be: RUINART Perfection of Style, Fit, and Durability. genuine clasp stamped Monarch. For sale by all leading dealers. POST- AGE. All you have guessed ‘about life insurance may bewrong. 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