Life — December 8, 1898 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“CURIE + HE KNEW! Etderty Spinster (to Young Reprobate, who has been swearing): OW! HOW CAN YOU USF SUCH DREADFL GUAGRY DO YOU KNOW WHAT BECOMES OF LITTLE BOYS WHO Do sot Billy: Yes"; THEY GITS TER BR KEB-DRIVERS! = — Fun, POINTS ABOUT TELEPHONE SERVICE. ‘Telephone subscribers in New York have the use of the best equipped telephone system In the world. Every station has a long distance telephone set and 1s connected to the Central Office by a direct metallic circuit under- ground line, The rates vary with the amount of use. In private residences and stables the use of the service is not great, and consequently the cost ts small, but the con- venience is immeasurable. The telephone service puts the whole organization of a great city at your fingers’ ends, day and night, IN the days of the public worship regulation act in England, Sir Wiillam Harcourt was invited to visit Lord Beaconsfleld, at Hughenden Manor. On Sunday the young politician accompanted bis host to the village church, and on the way thither was warned that some hints of the high-! jen run over by a cab, and was given only a few hours to church movement had penetrated even that sylvan solitude. “My friend, the vicar," sald the lord of the manor,“ Will | jeen a good little boy take up what [ call a collection and he calls an offertory, and | afterward what I call a plate and he calls an alms dish will) be placed on what I call a table and he calls an altar.” —Argonaut, RAISED TO HEALTH. More infants have been nourished with Gail Borden Eagle Brand Condensed Milk than by any other so-called infant foods combined. Thousands of mothers testify to its merit, “ CHOLLI told me he was burning with pafriotism, but, between you and me, I think he ts too green to burn.” “Yes, Cholile might appropriately be called a fireproof fat."—Imdlanapotis Journal. “FUNKIA OF JAPAN.” At the last ball given by the Ambassy in honor of the American-Spanish Peace Commission :—Alll the ladies are anxious; a circle, composed of the most fashlonable gentlemen present, Is being formed around the ravishing Countess Maud; thelr looks centre upon her, and the moment she rises and walks within the radius of her cap- tivating beauty, all follow her, hypnotised, as the island bird charmed by the serpent—and why {s this? As a Halo, the Countess fs surrounded by an exquisite perfume, rapturous, a mysterious odor. Upon being questioned, the pretty Countess does not hesitate in giving out her secret to her charming lady friends (who, since, are mak Ing good ure of it) “It is all due to the *Funkia of Japan,’ that masterpiece of Oriza-Legrand, the Parisian Perfamer,” sho said with a smile, displaying the most | utue boy, and you know you may perhaps be going to dle, Deautiful set of white teeth. The Pennsylvania Railroad’s Magnificent Service between New York and Wash- ington. Nowhere to America can be found a supertor train service to that on the Pennaylvanta Ratiruad between New York and Washlugton. The most magnificent equipment which Amer- tcan genius has produced ts in constant ase on this line, all that the Pennsylvania Railroad stands for in xafety, in comfort, in xpeed, and in general supertortty 18 exhibited here, ‘The “ Congresstonal Limited,” which ts acknowledged to be the fo iman partor train in the world, leaves West | ‘Twenty-third St. Station dally at 3.20 p.m, ‘The NewYork and Washington Limited, another example of Pennsylvanta Ratl- | leaves, Weekdays, at 9.50 an. Additional | fast express trains leave West Twenty-third Street Station at 4.20, 4.50, 8.00 pp. 1d 12.05 night, dally, {0 and 1.0 p.in, Weekdays, affording a service as conventent as it 1s xupertor. Trains leave Cortlandt and Desbrosses Streets ten minutes later than Twenty-third Street. Pullman parlor or sleeping cars are attached to all the above trains, at Penusylvanta: Ratlroad dining cars are attached to the “ Congresstonal Limited,” the New York and Washington Limited, and to trains leaving at 10.50 a. m., 4.20 and 4.50 p. m., dally. ‘The return service Is equally complete and conventent, In fact the matchless train xervice between New York and Washington presents the “ Standard Rallroad of America" in its best light, 1d shows on what a solld founlLition the fame of the Pennsylvania Rallroad rests. tr Rector (ying his rounds): Fine pl that, Mr. Dibbles; uncommonly tine. Ab, yes, sir; if we was only all of us as ft to die as bim, — Funny Cuts, A VALUABLE SUGGESTION, You can give Waterman's Ideal Fountain Pens to your friends as useful and appropriate holiday gifts, and receive thelr thanks for your good judgment in selecting the genuine and best. ‘They are made in a large variety of styles, sizes, and prices tomeet every requirement, Dealers, or Waterman's, 187 Broadway, New York. at “Dip you ever see @ horse-race that you could say was absolutely honest?” “ [think I did, wunst,” satd Rubberneck Bill; “the feller what was ahead had stoled the hoss.”* —Indianapotis Journat. HOTEL VENOOME, BOSTON. The ideal hotel of America for permanent or transient guests. “My boy,” sald the chaplaln to a lttle chap who had live, “the doctors think you are very much burt. Have you Boy (much bored): You git aout. CuarLaty (shocked): But Iam afratd you are not good | “Well, tain't none o* your buslness any’ow. Wot's me death got to do with yout ‘Ave you @ pal in the cormn Cornhill. When the Cold Weather comes on, your feet get damp and cold, This causes mach of the winter sickness, Allen's Foot=Ease ke 10 feet dry warm, absorbs piration and isa certain cure for Chilblains and bites. ALLEN'S APowder forthe Feet FOOT-EASE. Shake Into Your Shoes Allen's Foot=Ease,a powder for the feet, It cures painful, swol- stantly takes the sting out of corns comfort di ecover®, of the Allen's Foot=Ease makes a iting or new sboes fee! l Itis a certain cure for sweating, cal- i 1d hot, tired, aching feet. We ieee PORE eae pent Mat Ret accept gn fmitation, Comfort!” mail for 250. in stamps. = FREE cyan ALLEN 8. OLMSTED, Lo Roy, Ne ¥. (Mention this paper.) The Improved BOSTON GARTER Is the recognized STANDARD for MEN'S WEAR. Keeps the Stocking Free from Wrinkles DOES NOT BIND CUSHION BUTTON Does not tear the stock- ing, and will not unfasten| accidentally. SOLD EVERYWHERE Sample Pair / Silk. 50c. by Mail { Cotton, 25c, GEORGE FROST CO. BOSTON, MASS. THE BEST HOME GAME. Adapted for either Children or Adults, PRICES: Paper Bound, $1. Cloth Bound, $2, PARGHEES! THE ROYAL GAME OF INDIA. No household Complete, No home happy without it. No Parlor Table Game has ever been published which has had so great a sale. For twenty years the best familics have bad it in their homes, and so enjoyed it that now it is always called for when the question arises, ‘‘ What shall we play?” Sold by ull leading Book, Stationery, Toy and Department Stores. ostpaid by SELCHOW & RIGHTER, . The BEST grain money will buy; The BEST spring of water in Ky, The sclentific formula of fj James Crow: Absolute clean!i- Pei] ness (which 1s akin to godll- ness). No animals fed at this distillery. Never sold until fully matured. Never sweet- orcolored. Such ts Old Crow Buy only of reliable dealers, H. B. KIRK & CO., SOLE BOTTLERS, NEW YORK. Agents for the Great We e.