Life — September 29, 1898 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EERE GREATNESS. We'll have, to show the soldiers How we extinate their worth, ‘The greatest time on record In the greatest land on earth. —Washington Star. A avop story Is told of the first battalion, Grenadier Guards, while en route to Egypt in the transport Jetunoa. “Man overboard,” was the cry. Immediately, says our Gibrattar correspondent, life buoys were cast over, the xbip Was stopped and heats lowered, tut nothing could be seen of the man. The captain sald, “I don’t belleve there Is anyone overboard; ” whereupon the stolld little colonel replied, “Ob, no; Lonly wanted to see If you had your appilances all ready.”” ‘The captain of the transport's reply tx not given London baity Mail. A Putexn hands In the following, calling it “Perpetual Motion.” The more you read It and think of It, the more there seems In tt: “ The duck eats the worm, ‘The man eats the duck, The worm eats the man, ‘The duck eats the worm." —akron Beacon Journal, SANITARY PRECAUTIONS. ‘The Inspectors of the factories where the Gall Borden Eagle Brand Condensed Milk la prod J have access at all times to the dalrymen’s premises, with authority to exact every sanitary precaution. Such care results tn a perfect tnfant food. American: Was It Sampson or Schley who sunk your fleet? Dow: Give tt up. But Iknow we were sunk. —Phitadelphia North American. Lona: Tam getting too stout for comfort, but am unable to find a remedy. Suont: It 1s sald that nothing reduces surplus flesh like worry. “But [have nothing to worry me." “Well, Just to help you out I'm willing to let sou lend me ten dollars."—Chicago News, ONck upon @ time a man rose politely and offered his seat tn a street car to a woman, “Ob, thank you,” ered the woman at once. ‘This fable teaches, among other things, that unconven- tonality Is infectious, 40 to speak.—Detroit Journal. Hovsewrve: It seems to me that your pints of milk are very small. MILKMAN: My cows are of a amall kind, mum, —Lundon Punch. “Opp fellow, Jones. Calls his daughter ‘ Duty.” sot Why?” Yh, he says she's a great deal too plain to be attractiv Moonshine, Mac says she Is madly tn love with her new wheel.” “Huh! Another case where man Is displaced by ma- ebtnery."—/utianurpotis Journat. A Lawyer trying to serve his client by throwing sus- picion ou a witness In the case, In the course of his cross- examination sal “You have admitted that you were at the prisoner's house every evening during all this time?” Yes, sir," repited the witness, Were you and he interested In any business together?” “Yes, sir,” answered the man, unhesltatingly. “Ant Now, will you be good enough to tell us how and to what extent and what the nature of this business was ta which you and he were interested?” “Well, | have no objection to telling. his daughter."—rit-bits. Tue Czar: I will butid two big battleships. Joun BULL: 1 will batld four, will build cight."” I will build sixteen.” = have peace.""—Exchange. “How much drop has your wheel?” asked the {dle person, “about forty feet, I think," answered the man who 1s learning —Cincinnatt Enquirer. 1 was courting Prince of Wales's Favorite Wine, de LOSSY-HOLDEN CHAMPAGNE, «* GOUT & RHEUMATISM Usethe Great English Remedy BLAIR’S PILLS Safe, Sure, Effective. 50c. & DRUGGISTS, or 22g William St, THE BEST Solid Back Brush for a lady to use. THE GODIVA, Genuine Ebony. Is Made Better in Quality than anything stamped France or Germany. ROBERT LOW’S SON, In New York City nia and Back pp.. 176 ilustra- tions, 5 cents. The Mok! Snake Dance © pp. 64 Mustra- tions. "8 cents. Grand Canon of Colo- tado River. 8 pp.. 15 Mustrations, 2cts, New Mexico _Mealth Resorts. 80 pp. 31 iMnstrations. 2 cts, Arizona Health Re- ‘sorts, 72 pp., 18 illus- trations, 2 cts. Les Vegas Hot Sprin tnd Vicinity, 4 Dp. 89 illustrations, 2cts, These Books Mailed free for postage named, (recisteney) The Dnrivaled Hair Tonic The Only Dandrurf Cure A Sure Preventive of Baldness Invented by the well-known author- {ty on diseases of the scalp, Dr. P. J. Uchhott, Professor of Dermatology, Liberfeld, Germany Experience has shown that allother specifics recommended forthese pur- poses have proved failures. Send for circular. BOLE U. 8. AGENTS, MULHENS & KROPFF, . . NEWYORK. They tell the story of wonderful sights and scenes, and special resorts for tourists and homeseekers in the Great West. They are published by the Santa Fe Route, are lit and artistic, and will make you better acquainted with the attractions of your own land, C, A. HIGGINS, A.G.P.A.A.T.& Cea 1848 Great Northern Bldg. CHICAGO. We earnestly request our subscribers to give us a full week's notice of any intended change in their address. Notice of change should ‘reach us by Thursday to affect the issue of the following week. Under a recent act of Congress, paper matl will not be forwarded toa new address, no matter whether instructions are sent to the local post office or not, unless addressee also sends stamps to that office to prepay cost of re-mailing. Letters are forwarded without any trouble, but papers must be paid for a second time if they are to be forwarded. Ccomicbooks.com