Life — September 8, 1898 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SAFER. If ont of sight Is out of mind, ‘Then, Phytits, once surpass your kind; Don't house me In your mental part, Bat give me lodging in your heart. Chicago Record, up of friends were telling poker stories in the rotunda of the St, Chartes Hotel a short time ago, when a lawyer from central Mississippl contributed the following: “You all know Judge — of my State, and If you know him well you will that, besides being an eloquent speaker, a clever lawyer, and a capital story-teller, he ts always able to hold his own in a sti poker game. Well, he was ina game in Washington, and there was a New Yorker who always played bis hands pretty strongly, but had very ttle to say. Finally 1, Judge opened a Jack pot for $5, and the New Yorker, who was next In the hand, raised It ten, eryloy else dropped out and watched tosee Ifthe Judge would stay. Me looked up at the celling minded way : ‘Did Lever tell you t Sam Quickly down In our State?’ "s bear what yon are going to do about this, pot and then we'll listen to your story,’ remarked the New Yorker, with Just a tinge of impatience tn bis manner. +Sam was a mighty smart lawyer down in our State, and he was a Mt ef a wag. T don't remember that I ever met aman t ty with a reply under any and all cir- cumstances tha “Well, wh you going todo abont my ralset Let us know about that, and we'll listen to the Sam Quickly story afterward.’ “The New Yorker's polite protests were entirely lost upon ful, was reasonably funny, and everybody at the tale langhed heartily at It except the New Yorker. “+ Well, what are you gotng to do about thls hand?" he asked, nather crustily, as soon as the laugh which followed the story had subsided. I will see the ralse and draw three cards." “The New Yorker, whose turn it was to bet after the Ww, stood pat and bet $20 more. : “Teall you on two jacks.’ “+ T don’t call that very good poker, though you do win, for ['ve got nothing but a busted flush ; bat bow on earth ould you calla play like that on two jackst’ sald the New Yorker. “+Now, I'l fast tell you, Your first bet of $10 pazzied me. I didn’t know whether you had a good band or a four flush ; but 1 watched you, and when I told a fairly good story and you didn't taugh even a little It, 1 concluded that Were not sitting very comfortably behind that hand, even if you had given a $10 raise on tt. If you had only laughed, or even siniied pleasantly at my story, 1 would have passed without waiting to be asked ; but when you looked so solemn | worried, | made up my mind I'd go broke on my two ka. "= Neve Orteans Times- Democrat. T wave heard that she walks in her sleep,” sald the gossip. + Indeed 1” common, txn't Itt returned Mra, Parvenue, scornfully, “So I should think she would ride.” —Chicago Evening Post. Patient: Oh, doctor, if I could only die! Doctor: I'm doing my best for you. Boston Courier. Tur Dearest Girt: What makes yon old bachelors say Wnat is golf? A. A. Moore, who ts bly player, thus trreverently defined the game {« an Oakland Judge who was hearing a case 1 Ing of golf : “I belleve, your Honor, that the played tn irregular fields or waste grounds «/) which the player tries to hit with @ stick, hitting the ball, he spends the rest of the day 11 tookiag q in Ware, f quite a py Tis ts how the editor of the Humbelat (X. recently announced his marriage: “Mr. (that's us), and Miss Nannle Fisher (that’s united in marriage Wednesday, July 27, at mony was followed by 4 sumptuous repast, only a faint recollection of. Some way, events seemed crowd on each other then. And God has given os the te earthly thing within his gift. The Joy inn wweet wite great to be described—too sacred to be spoke White we ta ADMIRAL DuNCAN had considerable troutie with bis & captalns, who, though brave, were not amenatie to of Among the most intractable was Captain Inglis of the pe quererr—a Scotchman and & man of violent temper. Ing had neglected to make himself complete master of the sf book, and on the morning of the battle fou puzzied than enlightened when he attempted flagship's signals, At last, throwing it upon the deck exclaimed, in broad Scotch, “Confound the book! wi the belin, and gung tnto the middle o°t !"— Ware. Crmizes: T hear Mr. Ofice-holder ts dead. STATESMA Yes. He died five minutes ago. “Ldlsiike to show any unseemly haste, bat I desire Judge Who, with the ufmost good-nature, and seem: ing obtivtousness to the other player's impatience, told his story about Sam Quickly, which, although nothing wonder- such horrid things? Married men do not talk that wa. THe Savace Bacuetox: No; we only say what the married men think. —Cincinnati Enquirer. put in my application for appointment as bis successor.” “Walk into the other room and take yoor place ta line.” —New York Weekly. F Great Britain, ‘The Inter- national News Company, Brearn's Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS, EUROPEAN AGENTS—Messra. Brentaso, & Avenue de l'Opera, Paris. D. LEIDEN, Cologne on the Rhine, Rhine and Moselle Wines. WESTMINSTER KENNEL CLUB. Tunis Show was held tn the Madison Square Garden, New York City, 00 February 21, 22, 23 and 24, 1998, ‘The oMctal publication ts a handsome book of about one hundred and eighty pages, 64x10 Inches. The cover ts an exquisite design by & famous artist, printed in three colors from half-tone plates. There are thirts five pages of fine illustrations of typical dogs of best known breeds, wid articles on their chlef chanactertstics and scales of polnts for judging, About ninety-six pages contain names of the dogs entered, with their pedigree and Ist of prize winnings, and owners’ names and addresses. A “marked” edition of the book ts published, which gives the names of the PRIZE WINNERS tn att CLASSES. This ts a standard book of reference for the dog of 1898, aud will be sent to any address on receipt of {0 cents. Address, For Sale by PARK & TILFORD. Sole Agent, ¢. H. ARNOLD, | 27 South William St., New York. THE THORNDIKE CeHOREES) ‘BOSTON PUBLIC CARDEN, USED BY THE BEST PEOPLE. Luggage Delivered Free (fr. N. Y., N. I. € IL RR. SOUTHERN PACIFIC CO. LUXURY, COMFORT, SPEED, For The world’s new standard for Ale comparison, Life Publishing Compa 19 & 21 West dist Str New York City. **Sunset Limited,"* * (Annex.) California, Arizona, Mexico, Japan, China, Around the World. 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