Life, 1898-09-01 · page 7 of 20
Life — September 1, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 167 This page contains humorous verse and commentary rather than political cartoons. "When I Played Golf" is a lighthearted poem about learning golf's etiquette—the speaker humorously admits to swearing, overspending on lost balls, and poor sportsmanship while playing. Below are brief satirical exchanges: Jasper and Jumperpe discuss reading yesterday's news, and there's commentary on the "capture of Manila," likely referencing the Spanish-American War and Philippine-American War period. The text suggests adopting a humorous "ruling principle" where generals would pause battles to decide outcomes by commission rather than actual combat. The final items are brief comic quips about spelling errors and Satan's observations about human desires.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
167 When I Played Golf. HEN I played golf I learned to eat W Some things I dared not eat before, I learned another tongue complete, I learned to lie about my score. When I played golf I learned to flirt— Au opportunity most rare— And as I cameoed the dirt, I picturesquely learned to swear, When I played golf I learned to steal The balls the other players lost. I learned to spend my all and feel "Twas wrong to stop and count the cost. When I played golf my great concern Was this:—I say it to my shame— Tho only thing I did not learn Was how to play the cussed guie, ASPER: What is the news? J Jumpvrpe: I can't tell you that until to-morrow. I am just reading to- day’s paper to see how much of yester- day’s news to believe and how much of it has been contradicted. HERE seems to be a large and whole- some moral to be drawn from the capture of Manila. It is asserted that the Spanlsh General practically suggested the man- ner In which the Amertcan troops should advance to prevent loss of Iife on both sides. This was ao insp . Why not adopt it as a ruling principle in future warfare? At certain critical moments in every battle stay the proceedings and decide, by a commission previously ap- pointed, which General has the advan- . By this means, war, instead of gz a stupid and vicious retrogression, with its endless train of widows, orphans and mutilations, would become an enter- taining spectacle, THE NEW SCHOOLMISTRESS, Left Behind. . I AM told there is large capital behind him.” “Yes, he has run through two for- tunes,” OME think that tho spelling of colonel Is not only absurd but infolonel, Butit’s quite undefiled *Sido tho matter that’s piled Into sheets of thy World and the Jolone!. EW ARRIVAL: What is that group over there singing with so much pathos and feeling? Satan: * Man wants but little here below.” comicbooks.com