Life — August 11, 1898 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hr. gets bis daughter off his hands And thinks bis job complete, But soon he finds he's got to put Her husband on his feet. =Tit-Bits. Tur Lapy IN THE SUN-pONNET.—Oh, TI guess you think whatever you say goes! Tue Lapy IN THe CuRt-ravens: If you hear It, It does; It goes all over the neighborhood, Indianapolis Journal. A stony Is told of a lord and a clergyman who were once driving together, and passed the city jail. The lord tarned to bis companion and jokingly sald: ° be, sir, If that Jatl had {ts dae?” panion smilingly Companion point to he settled by the two "we do with all these Spanish prisoners?” sald we can't massicre ther who never says anything unless tt «d disappointed. Il have to send them back to Spain,” replied the * Tow ll we do tt?" And, with heartlessness of which only her sex could be e sug: 3 's send ‘ein by a French steamship line.” —Washington Star. NO OTHER SO GOOD. ‘The social life of the present century creates conditions of motherhood which many times prevent the natural supply ‘of food for infunts, No so-called Infant food equats the Gall Borden Eagie Brand Condensed Milk. Ir ta narrated ¢ in gentleman of Celtic extraction, who holds the honoratie onice of trial Justice tn the State of Maine, that on one occasion his own son was haled before him on @ charge of drunkenness and disorderly conduct. Ilis Honor listened gravely to the evidence, which established & very clear case against the man, and sald: “ The Court will now rinder sintine are fined wan cint and costs, The Court will remit the costs, and you go bome aud thank God that your father ts the Judge."—Green Bag. Tne tncumbent of a country vicarage had long a thorn in his side in the shape of a crusty old farmer, who delighted tn opposing and a ery possible way. The parson, hav 1 offered another ving, accepted tt, mainly to escape bis tormentor, Taking leave of the parish, he called upot the farmer, and was surprised and even tonched by the man’s evident regret and sorrow for his y, Ithought sou would be giad to get rd of me!” exclaimed the vicar. e farmer shook his head solemnty. “You see, sir, ere for nigh on forty years, and my expertence of 1s that there's never a had tun goes but a wuss tun comes."—Tit-Bits. Wuex Thomas Batley Aldrich was a smatl-salaried clerk In George W. Carleton’s bookstore on Bi O’Brien was tn the hablt of dropping in day came in rather more than alt. Aldrich decided to take him across the street to a hotel and put him to bed. Cantlonsly and carefully he led O'Brien; but before mt want to bother with the fellow? Let him go.” replied Aldrich; “ he borrowed a dollar from me n't afford to let anything happen to when he was not strictly sober, into a publisher's office renty-five me was refused him. Angrily selzing a itand made letters on the blank side: * ONE OF Actions. [AM STARVING.” Tying a string to the card, O'Brien placed tt around his neck and paraded up and down the street, to th t amusement of a large crowd. Ie vas, of con} : ul to desist, bat nothing stopped his mad. course F dlollar htll was presented to bim as a compromise.—argowtit. “Triiyg,"" sald the Governor of the Ladrones, disdain. fully, “that you Amerteans are a race of shopkeepers.” * replied the Captain of the Charteston, as he pro ralse Old Glory, “we are more like @ nation of real estate operators."—Philadelphia North American. Prince of Wales's Favorite Wine, de LOSSY-HOLDEN CHAMPAGNE. The Prudential offers the best of all that is good in Life Insurance, and under conditions ‘suited fo the requirements of the whole family. “THE PRUDENTIAL INSURANCE COMPANY OF AMERICA. | Joww F. Davoen, Pres, Hone OFFICE, NEWARK.N.J. SOUTHERN PACIFIC CO. . .“ Sunset Limited,” LUXURY, COMFORT, SPEEO. For California, Arizona, Mexico, Japan, China, Around the World. 819 Broapwar, axp 1 Barreny Pace (Washington Building), New York. THE THORNDIKE (*°82x5'*) BOSTON OPP. PUBLIC CARDEN. USED BY THE BEST PEOPLE. Luggage Delivered Free (fr. N. Y., N. H. & H. R. R.). CHEW Solid Back Brush » BEEMAN'S THE ORIGINAL for a lady to use. THE GODIVA, Genuine Ebony. 4 and Sea-Sicknest. Is Made ee Better in Quality D. LEIDEN, Cologne on the Rhine, or Gemanye es eee | RHINE AND MOSRLLE WINES ROBERT LOW’S SON, g In New York City PLEASE TRY GANDY OATHARTIO For Sale by PARK & TILFORD. eCULare THE LIVe® | Sole Agent, C. H. ARNOLD, Deseeiete, 27 South William Street, New York. comicbooks.com