Life, 1898-07-28 · page 7 of 20
Life — July 28, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page 67 Analysis This page contains three separate satirical pieces typical of Life magazine's humor: 1. **"Afterwards"** - A darkly comic dialogue where people discuss a dead man, joking he'll "soon be under ground" and cannot hear them. The satire mocks how people speak ill of the deceased or make light of death. 2. **"Two Truths"** - A short piece about wives' influence on men's beliefs, suggesting a woman's convictions shape her husband's worldview—satirizing marital dynamics and female persuasiveness. 3. **"M. Von Blumer"** - A brief exchange about a man named for the Presidency, with someone jokingly offering to "join" him for dinner and whiskey, implying he's insignificant despite his grand-sounding name. The accompanying illustrations are decorative woodland/pastoral scenes. The overall tone is genteel, turn-of-century American humor focused on social observations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AAs EARS eRae RAL APRIL NOS ENE SEITE “ETE still sings some of the old, old songs, and you may hear “Tho Red, White and Blue” in tho trenches at Santiago, just as for thirty years it has floated through fiction from the trenches before Petersburg. But, hereafter, no war story will be genuine that does not contain “A Hot Time in the Old Town To-night.” . . . E loved the old soldier heroes with their ancient songs, and with names of battles that were sucred because we had learned them out of dog-eared school histories, But already the new hero is nearer our hearts, because he is more human. Just the other day we played football with him, or beat him at golf, or sailed a boat with him. He was a yood- fellow then, and we know that he isa brave one now. Already he has entered upon his immortal youth in fiction, His contempo- raries will grow old and die, but he will march serenely on through the years—a smooth - faced, square-jawed youth, pushing his way through chaparral under a burning sun, and jesting in the face of danger. Droch. ‘ ‘HO is this man named for the Presidency? I never beard of him.” “Haven't you? Why, bebas been mayor of one of our largest department stores.” Rs. VON BLUMER: My dear, those people will be here in an hour to dinner, and the cook has been at your whiskey. Afterwards. A I lay dead one day, With all the people round, “ Poor boy!" I heard one say: “ Ho'll soon be under ground, “ He owed me ten, but then” (He softly smoothed his brow), “Twill not occur again ; He cannot reach me now.” “ How natural he looks,” Another said. ‘* Poor lad! He was 80 fond of books— He borrowed all I had.” Another: “ Poor, dear soul! He loved my dinners so! How sad! Yet, on the whole, ‘Twas best that he should go.” Another: “Ab! 80 young! So hard it is to think His song was left unsung— They say he used to drink.” Another: “He teas bright! How pitiful to fling Such gifts away. He might Have done some clever thing.” And still another groaned, As in bis chair he sank : “ His loss will be bemouned— They say be was a crank.” As I lay dead one day, While waiting for the hearse T couldn't help but say: “ This might have been much worse!" ISDOM is the knowledge of other people's mis- takes, R.HAYRAKE (to college- bred son): So yew air goin’ tew git married. Du yew think th’ polish yew got at co! lege 'll enable yew tew keep a wife? “Tt bas enabled me to get “In that case I guess I'l! & wife rich enough to keep join her.” 4 67 Two Truths. HAT a man’s wife becomes depends upon what he believes her to be. Whataman becomes depends upon how far he strives to be what heaven avd earth won't prevent his wife from believing that he already is. ote e comicbooks.com