Life — July 28, 1898 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

74 THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MISSIONARIES. jackal may prove as great an incentive to uplifting as theant the sluggard was invited to interview. The rise and dominance of this splendid young butler is an inspiration to every keyhole lit- terateur in America. His portrait is on sale atall the bookstores, two for a quarter, with an autogr: Joseph Smith, The Young Woman and the Physician. AM sure,” said the hypocbondriacal young « I woman to the physician, “that my com- ) plaint isa very complicated one. I suffer from muscular weakness after an exertion, a fecling of fullness in the stomach after meals, my feet tire from walking, and I can’t sleep during the day. Do you think you under. stand my case * Perfectly,” replied the doctor, who could fix no relation between the symptoms at all. “* Perfectly,” he repeated, impressively, nod- ding bis bead with the air of a man who understands his business. This he did very artfully, for the doctor had lost none of the nerve acquired by watching the vivisection of innocent animals during bis student days. Then he wrote a prescription for salt water, which he gave to the young lady, with instructions to return in a week, so as to inform him of her progress; really, to refer to his books in the meantime, But the doctor could find nothing to enlighten him in all bis books, He cursed their inadequacy. Presently the young lady returned. bloom of health. ‘*T cannot be too grateful to you, doctor,” she said, joyously. * You have done me a world of good.” The doctor smiled contentedly, His patient was cured. The brilliancy of the cure would warrant him charging for the case instead of for the number of visits; and alrcudy his mind was forming the outline of a paper to be rerd before the medical society on the therapeutic value of salt water in diseases of the stomach, insomnia, muscular rheumatism and varicose veins, Why shouldn't he smile? On he> cheek was the Robert Alerander Buchmann. A New Issue. ANSAS FARMER: Is it true, Jedge, thet th’ war with Spain is th’ cause uv th’ rise in wheat? JupcE: I believe so. “Then, by Jingo! ez a leadin’ Poperlist, I shell immejitly advercate a decerlashun uv war agin Urup, Azyer an’ Afriky.” er ae LL HAVE YOU BROKE; SEE IP I DON'T! DAD'S Young Shopper GOT A PULL, AN’ YOU STILL BE DISCHARGED. (1Vith emphasts) 1 MAY NOT BE AS OLD AS some, BUT VM A CITERZEN JUST THE SAME, AN? WANT as MUCTE JON PAID ME. IF YOU PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND ONE GAL'S WAIST YOU SHOCLD PO TT TO ALL. YOU DIDN'T PO TT TO ME, ANT T WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAN’ [°M JUST AS MUCH OF A LADY AS ANY OP TEM. comicbooks.com