Life — June 16, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

the only quite complete holiday that has yet been Invented.” Men go hunting caribou in Canada for exactly those rea- sons. It means a suspension of the thousand and one odt/gations of clvtl- ization. “Al the complex civilized tyranny summed up tn the word ‘arrange- ments '—you are free of it all.” A Northern man said to an Alabamian & few months age “L don't see why the South 1s x0 anxious to go to wai piled: “You don't kuow how deadly dull It ean be in Alabama !" War may be doll, bat, at any rate, itis an unusual kind of dulness, and that fre- quently attracts the adventure: some splrit of a man stuck tna rut. Shoveting coal with the Naval Reserve may pass for excitement’ with a nun who is Ured of driuking club cocktalls every day be- tween five and six o'clock, Moreover, it ts better for the liver. \YITH al ae, Steevens's ap- parent carelessness as to the historical facts of the war, his book, never: The Diary of a Baby. IT was born, and both the doctor and theless, leaves with the reader @ very dedulte ne : nurse tried to excuse it by saying that {dea of exactly how the Turks made thelr cam- UNDAY.—Itdoesn’tseem abies always lose the first week. It is paign, the 7 h battle they fought, possible that I bave yseless, however, to gloss over the real alities that made them win, He “ visu. been here only aweek. facts, Slowly but surely I am wasting "the war, so that you can see the Turks From my sufferings, away, What crimes aro committed in tho advancing like ants across the plains of Thessaly. it seems more like uy men describe a battle as they would a a year, My mother for plesee. fut Me Siena : is a well-meaning and bersome tt Professor : WUAT AN ODD TREE! name of science! Tvrspay.—I intend to fool these people j yet. It occurred to me yesterday that if I amiable, but weak creature, completely fived [might somo day be big enough to fala, aod be takes you soo Ut undercontrolof thetrained nurse,who, Ire got even with the nurse and doctor, Aud that is the business of a war corre. Kret tosay, isstillhere, Betweenthem and thought sustains me. This, and tho spondent, preth, the deat, who eal remulacly once a daysT ‘Guoague ist aly tether Ik bodeetly #Ubi inte ——— am having a hard time, It's a toss-up ale 7 Sutin Prehistoric. ‘bother, ['pall through-or mot. ‘Their in= 12 Ue, Griele lRounh. of course, ILLIE: Pa, what do they make tne and criminal curiosity about matters must say that his whole attitude in this talking machines of? purely personal to myself is enough tO gnfortunate affair is admirable. We regard wreck any self-respecting infant. Tho {equally as a common calamity to both of nurso has even gone so far as to keep a us, and as men (this is the first time written record of everything Ido. No act of I have announced my sex—I have no imine is too trivial to be registered, and meang of knowing how a girl survives tho doctor reads itall and asks for more. those trials) we look upon it philosophl« Thoro is more red tapeabout being born catty, To-day he watched his opportunity than I ever dreamed of, and it strikes ang paid me a visit while the nurse was mo that most of it is superfluous. AS cating an elaborate breakfast. I could see Jong as it can’t be helped and Tam that ho hated to look at me steadily, and yet here, why not respect my feeling] soomed to possess a certain fascination for and give mea Aghting chanco? him. “Hoe is homely enough Moxpay.—This morning I was marked at last, which inspired my mother weighed, as usual, I was first to retort: How can you say such a thing!” stripped of all superfluous clothes— But I knew he was right,and I like bis no small job in itself—and then in candor, although tho truth hurts, My this ombarrassing condition I was mother, after some effort, finally persuaded placed in a towel hooked into a him to take me up, ““If I fool with that pair of scales and suspended in mid- kid,” he remarked, “something will hap- air like a Philadelphia chicken, pen. This will give a fair {dea of how I I should regurgitato!” I exclaimed to fam regarded from a professional myself. standpoint. It makes me shudder And I did. WBAT AN: CRED AT to think of it, They discovered that Wepxespay.—Iast night I had a slight coyear, TL weighed a pound less than the day cough, and after dozing off I felt a pain in His Fatuen : The first one was made out of arib, my son. BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE, 6 months. 16 years, comicbooks.com