Life — June 9, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Gubernatorial. HE Thirteenth Reg understanding Yanded in disgrace and promiscuously insulted. The Seveuth Regiment, on a question of tec! ciplined and enthusias by the Governor of the State, And this same Governor, martinet, and reckless patriot, within a week reviewed his troops from the inside of a cab— Ddecause it rained! While there is no judicial connection between these various occurrences, there remains a certain artistic relation—a blending of tragedy and faree—to be viewed with clearer vision when the present hysteria shall have subsided. ment, fora mis- he Conundrum of the Golf Links. (With thanks to Kipling.) When the flush of the new-born sun fell first on Eden’s gold and green, Our Father Adam sat under the Tree and shaved his driver clea 4 (ibe, And joyously whirled it round his head and knocked the apples off, Till the Dovil whispered behind ths leaves : “ Well done—but is it golf?” aveauité ¥E) DAALIS Wherefore hi practice The frst of the world who foozled his stroke (yet the grandpapa of MS) 3 And he left his clubs to the use of his sons—and that was a glori- ous gain, When the Devil chuckled “Beastly Golf” ia tae ear of the hor- rored Cain, called bis wif in his swing— and fled to They putted and drove in the North and South; they talked and laid links in the West ; Till the waters rose o'er Ararat’s toes, and the aching wrists could rest— Could rest till that blank, blank canvasback, heard the Devil jeer and scoff, As ho flew with the play golf.” flood-fed olive branch, “Dry weather. Let's ‘They pulled and sliced and pounded the earth, and the balls went sailing off Into bunkers and trees while the Devil grinned “ Keep your eye on it! That's not golf.” Then the Devil took his sulphured cleik and mightily he swung, While each man marveled and cursed his form, and each in an alien tongue. The tale is as old as the Eden Treo—and new as the newest green, For each man knows cro his lip thatch grows the caddy’s mocking mien. HT, GK WHY pox'r you AN UNFORTUNATE (1) ACCIDENT. PAK TO ME? (Kisses hini.) ARE YOU DEADE (Kisses him again) kisses.) (aor George (10 Nimsel J): GO MIGUT ON! YOU CAN JUST BET 'M DEAD AS LONG AS THIS Lasts. And cach man hears, though the ball fails fair, the Devil's curs. cough Of joy as the mau holes out in ten, * golf!” You did it—but what poor We have learned to whittle the Eden Tree to the shape of a niblick’s shaft, We have learned to make a mashio with a wondrous handicraft, We know that a hazard is often played best by re-driving off, But the Devil whoops as be whooped of old, “It’s easy, but is it golf?” When the flicker of summer falls faint on tho Clubroom’s gold and green, Tho sons of Adam sit them down and boast of strokes unseen; They talk uf stymies and brassie lies to the tune of the steward’s cough, But tho Devil whispers in their ears, “Gadzooks! But that's not golf.” Now if wo could win to the Eden Tree whero the Nine-Mile Links are laid, And seat ourselves whero Man first swore as he drove from the grateful shade, And if we could play where our Fathers played and follow our swings well through, By the favor of God we might know of Golf what our Father Adam knew, James Gardner Sanderson. comicbooks.com