Life — April 2, 1898 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LADIES CHANGE ! Plea for Membership. AIR Phyllis owns no family-tree With spreading branches, fondly cherished: She boasts uo tig Who on the field of She claims kin with Or signed the famous Declaration. She koows not if her mother-tongue Was spoken in Calais or Dover; She cannot tell from whence she sprung She's not aware when she No musty records grace her shelf Of men who made their epochs noted; Whole * centuries” she's made her And to her “cycle” she's devoted. She orders not, to wear with pride, A spinning-wheel with jewels mounted ; She mounts her own, away to ride O’er hill and dale for miles uncounted, And so, although to history Her past has made no contributions, Yet she a daughter claims to be Of very many revolutions, Jennie Betts Hartawick, R. OHOOLIHAN: Shure thot dog should IVI ‘be able to schwim in very shally wather, so he ought Mr. McCese: He do thot, Mr. O'Hoolihan Shure T have seen him schwim in wather thot shally thot he couldn't touch bottom till he got up on the dry land A Matter of Importance. “N® id the statesman, ‘I've no time to I talk about politics.” “But, my dear sir,” said the reporter, 1 baven’t said anything about politics. I want to interview you about favorite drinks in your native State.” “Oh, well, go ahead. 'maiways ready to talk about important matters.” HE devil gets considerable help from. his enemies. Perversity. ODD: 1 find it cheaper to send my family away in the summer than to keep them at home, but don’t mention it Toop: Why not? “If my wife found it out she wouldn't want to go."