Life — March 10, 1898 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Our Noble Defenders. WING to the pres- ent excitement caused by the prospect of war with Spain, there has been some talk of re- modeling the United States Army. We would beg to make a few suggestions before the work is begun, * It must be admitted that this will be a * LIFE: bullets or uniforms, builders of docks, Wall Street bears, and all the rest of the disinterested patriots who grieve to see their country neglect any opportunity to get into a fight. These men have proven their zeal b their words. It would be an injustice todeprive them of the opportunity to strike a decisive blow for their principles, The third division—the flower of the army—shall be called the ‘ Brigade of Statesmen.” In it shall march forth all that noble band of orators who, in the halis of Congress, have hurled forth fierce defiance to a startled world. They are most anxious to battle for the Starry SPECIAL SUBMARINE CABLE TO LIFE, 193 The Modern Creed. IGIt Church Or Low Chureb, My Chureh Or no Church, No Difference. R.SPOUTER: The different w: in which really sincere picty manifests itself are indeed remarkable. For instance, some people believe in fast- ing, while others, just as devout, attend church suppers. Mr. I ence? What's the differ. THE AMERICAN COD AND THE SPANISH MACKEREL HAVE TAKEN UP THE DISCUSSION. most important task. The regular army, as reorganized according to the follow- ing specifications, should be called upon to do the harder part of the fighting, and should, we think, be composed only of men whose valor and zeal have been indisputably proven. For this reason we would suggest that the army be made up of three detachments of indefi- nite size, the first to consist wholly of the newspaper men, reporters and edi- tors who, by their frantic bravery and their fearless pens, have made the thrill- ing contest possible. The second division shall be made up of army contractors, makers of rifles, Banner; they deserve the first chance. True, legislation may be sadly handi- capped without them; but then there is the delightful possibility that Congress may be induced to adjourn until they come back, Then, indeed, no matter which way the contest should turn, the country would be safe. With our army thus reorganized, the common, ordinary citizen could look forward to war with a tranquil, and even a cheerful mind. HE worst thing about a bad habit is that it costs more to get rid of than to keep. «s HAT opera tu-night ?" “Why, the—er—Gotter—Gat- ter Damrosch.” JF one stale of speting is better than another. why not uze itt Complexity is surely avoidabl, and it should be avoided. How clumsy for instance appears the word sulphur after becoming familiar with sulfur! So also with league and leag; hooping-cough and hooping- cof; muff and muf; friend and frend; handsome and handsum; bedabble and bedabl, and count less other words. Our present system of speling is certainly misleading as regards pronunciation, and it seems our duty to cuming generations to ameliorate the evil. We cannot er in making such an effort. We may be sure that those who cum after us will not take it fl.