Life — February 10, 1898 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ELIJAM BROWN. Elijah Brown, the cobbler, was enamored of the muse, And all his time was given up to stanzas and to shoes He scorned to live # tuneless life, ingloriously mute, And nightly laid his last aside to labor at his hite: For he had registered an oath that lyrical renown Should trumpet to the universe the worthy name of Brown. And, though his own weak pinions failed to reach the heights of song, His genius hatched a brilliant scheme to help his oath along ; And all his little youngsters, as they numerously came, He christened after poets in the pantheon of fame, That their poetic prestige might impress them, inspire A noble emulation to adopt the warbling lyre. And Virgil Brown and Dante Rrown and Tasso Brown appeared, And Milton Brown and Byron Brown and Shakespeare Brown were reared. Longfellow Brown ani Schiller Brown arrived at mans estate, And Wordsworth Brown and the family slate. And he believed his gifted boys, predestined to renown, In time would roll the bowlder from the buried name of Brown, and Ismith Brown filled up But still the epic is unsung, and still that worthy name Is missing from the pedestals upon the hills of fame ; For Dante Brown's a pediler in the vegetable line, And Goldsmith Brown’s a deck-hand on a Jersey ferry- bos In Wordsworth Brown Manhattan has an estimable cop, And Schiller Brown's an artist in a Brooklyn barber shop; A roving tar is Virgil Brown upon the bounding seas, And Taso Brown is usually engaged in making cheese ; The cobbler's bench is Milton Brown's, and there he pegs away, And Shakespeare Brown makes cocktails in a Cripple Creek café.— * Do you know why itis that so many explorers seek the Arctic and so few the Antarctic regions?" 1, I think I could make a very good guess.” “Why?” “The Arctic regions are not quite so far away from the headquarters of the managersof the lecture bureaus.” ~Chicago Post. Lapy Beiwee sat for her portrait in Bath, and the artist was commenting on the beauty of the sitter's eyes, which, if contemporaneous evidence is worth anything, were indeed magnificent, That started Landor on the subject of eyes. He insisted that green eyes were the most “woonderful"—he always pronounced the wot with a double o. In support of his argument he told the following story : “It so happened that when I was a young man at Venice, I was standing in the doorway of the Café Florian one day, watching the pigeons on the Piazza San Marco, when an old gentleman rushed up to me and said, * Pardon me, sir, but will you allow me to look into your eyes? Ah, Catherine of Russia; they were the most woonderta beautiful eyes in the world.’ I have reason,” contios Me. Landor, “ to remember this, for while the old gexis man was examining my eyes I had my pocket picked.” Argonaxt, Herr Scart tells of a conscientious cornet player one of his orchestras who gave an unexpected renderig of a well-known passage. “Let's have that over again,” requested Scheel, sx prised at hearing a note which was not in the score The note was sounded again and again. “ What are you playing!” he asked at last ~ Tam blaying what am on ze paper." said the com player. “I blay vat is before me.” “Let me have a look.” The part was handed to te conductor, Why, you idiot,” he roared," can't you # this is a dead fly?” I don't care.” was the answer, “ jayed him.” — We he was there, ant | A WoMAN of this town lost both of her servants te other day. A friend of hers recommended @ maid, and a message was sent to the maid to call. She did so and es engaged on the spot. When asked when she could ters her duties, she pointed to a big bag in the hall acd sl “T brought it along, as I thought you might want me« once. At the end of a week the mistress, who found be satisfactory, said one day: “ Mary, do your people kore “No, ma‘am,” was the reply. “Tcame right away ~ But won't they worry about you And Byron Brown is pitching for the Tuscarora nine ; Longfellow Brown, the lightweight, is a pugilist of note. I thought so! Sir, you have one pair before, and they belonged to the late Empress reen eyes! [never saw but “Well, ma‘am, Mr. Howard might be a little anx That's my husband, ma‘am."—New York Evening > Yor sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter- ‘News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AcxxTs, EUnoreax Aouwrs—Messra Brentano, $7 A Paris, Saarbach’s News Exchange, 1 Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Swi To insure the best results from exercise, rub well with a coarse towel while cooling, get under a warm shower, take a quick scrub with Ivory Soap, then some cold water and dry without more rubbing than necessary Ivory Soap, because of its purity, its quick action, its easy rinsing quality and the smooth, pleasant sensation it brings, is the soap most frequently preferred for the bath. i i Pt | , i ia nnn @ The Standard Brand of the Best Whiskey is ' Hunter : Baltimore Rye! RICH, PURE FLAVOR, rt ' PERFECTLY MATURED AND MELLOW, TONICAL AND RESTORATIVE. » Sold at all First-Class Cafes and by Jobbers TRADE NARK WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. & See eee eee eee ee ee Rover D/ LOW’S Turtle Oil Soap and Wood Violet. ALL,IMPORTED. Topacco, HIGHEST IN PRICE FINESTIN QUALITY 2sc. a Bundle. 10 in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for asc. H. 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