Life — October 14, 1897 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SIC EUNT FATA HOMINUM. Judge (on box): READ THE CHARGES AGAINST VLADIMIR CASEY ! Clerk (reading): Firstly: WE 1S CHARGED WID LOSIN’ INTEREST IN DE GANG, AN’ HAS BEEN STEALIN’ FROM DE CORNER GROCERIES FOR STRANGE PARTIE! DISCOVER'T DAT HE KIN BE BRIBED WID A LEMON; MAG SKELLY DE MARBLE HEART A! * HAS NEARLY KILT HER; FIT TER BE OUR CAPT'IN NO LONGER, AN’ IT IS MOVED BY DE GANG DAT HE GITS IT IN DE NECK, $ FURDEMORE REMOVED FROM HIS OFFICIAL OFFICE | The Advance Checked. T would seem the Coming Woman, With her vaunted strength of mind, Has suddenly remembered that * She something left behind. A Matrimonial Opportunity. UEEN WILHELMINA of Holland is looking for a husband. She is pretty, rich, high - principled, and comes into her property next year. She has looked over Europe's en- tire list of effete, bankrupt > and dissipated prince- (Ai—- lings, and finds none to ( 17" please her. So many of our own girls have gone abroad as brides to titles that it seems al- most time for that turnabout which is synonymous with fair play. As Lire looks over America’s eligible list, however, it is surprised at the paucity of eligible bachelors, Mr. William Hearst of the New York Journal occurs to us, but we fear that his close association with a dis- reputable newspaper might prove a serious blot on his escutcheon when the high-minded young lady takes him under consideration. Mr, Richard Harding Davis might do, but there is not time to secure a hydraulic press to stretch the crown of Holland to fit him. Even if this were possible, he would probably not consider the match a suitable one. LiFe is open to suggestions, and will gladly submit to the young lady any proposals of marriage which may be sent in its care. LD GOTROX: Am I], with all my millions, too old for you? Miss MABEL: Oh, That would be impossible! no. Golfers Glutted. UCH hasbeen, and is, the multiplica- tion of golf tournaments, that there is reason to believe that there are now in circulation enough prize golf cups to go around. This is a very unusual State of things. There is rarely enough of anything to go around in this world. Sometimes there is enough perishable fruit in sight to satisfy a small com- munity fora few hours, but of articles of value and permanency, like silver cups, there never was an adequate dis- tribution before. All that is necessary to win golf cups is to play a steady game. The handicap and chance does the rest. The worse your game the bigger the handicap, and for fear that chance should overlook you, tourna- ments have been made practically con- tinuous. How silver can continue to sag in spite of the immense stimulus to ‘its use in manufacture that golf has induced is one of the mysteries of trade. comicbooks.com