Life — September 9, 1897 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

noun.—A sales-gent; a once-a-week dude; a walk- both-ways-and-climb-a-tree sport; the husband of an actress; the brawn and virtue of the land (just before election); a tiller of the soil, a manof sound sense and sterling worth (if he votes the right ticket); otherwise, an undeodorized bunch of socialistic horrors, Professor, common, wide-open, joblot noun.— Bootblack; pugilist; snake-charmer ; card sharp; expert insanity meddler and muddler; simianary driftwood; a person hired to give loonaversity brats a disgust of the English language. Agnostic, proper, genteel, loonaversity noun. —A rich infidel; a minister looking for a city job. Journalism, vociferous, inflammatory ex- clamation (colloguial, hysterical, maniacal). —Drink, debt, and discharge; fas, reitera- tion, and fine scorn; a yellow road lined with green elephants, pink anacondas and blue devils, Statesman, common, universal, corner gro- cery noun, Jelly gender, legal person, su- preme court case.—A presidential under- study; a corporation bravo; a French-Can- adian, German, Hungarian, Jewish, Roman Catholic Protestant, born in Ireland by way of Alabama; a latter-day patriot who is ready to serve his country at any cost—to the country, Society, common, premeditated, yellow- Journal noun, Amorphous gender, ilt- bred person, divorce case.—A recent place which smells of ancient rum, molasses, slaves, lumber, salt fish, stockwater and pork; araceof which themen are women, aad the women merchandise, Diplomacy, undefined part of speech.— A round stick in a square hole; the stalling place of the attenuated literary ox; the quadrennial thrill of Irishdyna- miters, English prisons, and presidential Mugwamp, Aysterical, statistical, P y celestial interjection (colloguial in election, Boston, Springheldand the national Yf/ weeping department).—A political ¢ virgin; a precinct Moses; a man | who finds a political horseshoe and buys a spavined dark horse; an anathemized first of April person. John Drew. What He Wanted. OBKINS: My _ brother bought a wheel here last weck, and you said if anything broke you would supply a new part. DEALER: That's right. What do you want? «I want two deltoid muscles, a new set of knuckles and a knee-pan,” A SUMMER SCENE.